Thursday, March 12, 2009

Bad Boy Throw Down

I've decided that once a month I'll do one of those massive posts...you know, like "The Battle of The Queen Bees." For March? It's bad boy time...

We just can't resist them, can we? Maybe its the leather jackets, the motorcycles, the cigarettes, the "I don't give a shit" attitude. Maybe we want to fix them or we want just a little to be bad too and we think they'll lead us there. Either way, good girls, like myself, just can't resist a bad boy. They roll into town, or barge into our lives and change everything. So here are some of my favorites, categorized, Good Bad Boys, Supernatural Bad Boys, Bad Boys Who wouldn't consider Good, Smart Bad Boys:

The Good Bad Boys: They don't want to be bad, really, they just can't help it! These are the guys who want to change, who really aren't bad at all. They just do bad things sometimes because a bad boy can't ever leave it behind.

Ryan Atwood The OC:Ryan, from the mean streets of Chino, CA (where he was apparently the only white kid besides his badder big brother Trey) Ryan finds his way to Newport Beach because Sandy Cohen is appointed his attorney when he steals a car. Sandy then adopts Ryan and brings him home. And then four years of glory began...Ryan is the very picture of the "I'm trying to change" model of bad boys. From day one he attempts to be different, and doesn't always succeed. He hits people...a lot. He messes up. He almost gets his ex girlfriends pregnant. Luckily with help from the Cohens, especially is "brother," Seth he does become a better man...with no help from Marissa Cooper (HISS)

Patrick Verona 10 Things I Hate About You:Long before Heath was doing the gay cowboy thing, or winning posthumous Oscars for portraying sociopathic clowns, he was making every preteen and teenage girl born from 1985 to 1990 swoon. Patrick captured our hearts with his barely there smile, his wild hair, the way he saw into Kat's soul and fell in love with her. He wasn't bad, he was just misunderstood, and broke. And he doesn't even have to buy me a guitar if he screws up!

Angel Buffy The Vampire Slayer/Angel:
Angel could also technically be filed under "supernatural" being a vampire and all. But to me, Angel's just far too good to be a real bad bad boy. Cursed as a vampire with a soul (yes preteenies, believe it, there were good vampires before Edward Cullen! Not only that, Angel would kick Edward's broody little ass if he had the chance) Angel is overwrought with guilt over the crimes of his past. He went truly bad a couple of times over the ten or so years we saw Joss chronicle his stories, anytime he reached erm....true complete happiness. But whether it was helping Buffy track down baddies in Sunnydale or tracking them down on his own in LA Angel is right up on the so good, he can't help but be bad list.

Roger Davies Rent:

The perfect mix of grunge era angst and operatic tragic hero, Roger changed his bad boy ways when his "girlfriend April left a note saying 'we've got AIDS' before slitting her wrists in the bathroom." He just wants to write "one great song" before he has to give it all up and you know die. ItalicHe not only succeeds in writing his "One Song Glory" but he saves coke fiend also HIV positive stripper (and his one true love) Mimi from herself, yells at filmmaker best friend Mark until he makes his movie. Roger's angst and his rock god status puts him in the bad boy hall of fame.

Supernatural Bad Boys: Something about the "other" leads boys over to the dark side. It probably doesn't help that these guys are often the physical embodiment of evil...and you know, other stuff.

Spike Buffy The Vampire Slayer:
Seriously, as far as loving the vampires goes, Buffy beat Bella Swann to it twice. Spike started out as a mortal enemy of hers, and then became obsessed with her. And then he got a soul (I know right?) and they lived happily every after. Sort of, because nobody in Whedonverse actually lives happily ever after. But they come as close as anyone.

Jacob Black, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn:
Speaking of Bella...as far as traditional bad boys go, it wasn't a vampire for her. Edward Cullen's an angel compared to her bestie the wolfboy. Maybe that's why I'm Team Jacob. Jacob breaks the rules, Jacob rides a motorcycle, Jacob isn't an obsessive control freak who thinks that Bella can't defend herself. (I harbor some resentment towards Edward. Can you tell?) Like many of the other bad boys his heart is almost always in the right place (with Bella) and then with his Renessme. (Plot conveneince.) Jacob just acts before he thinks. And Bella should have picked him. Yeah, that's right...I said it. About time that someone online said it.

Cole Turner/Belthazoar Charmed: Oh, Cole, so sexy, so menacing, so not even bad, just pure evil and that was something that good witch/bad girl Phoebe could just not resist, over and over again. Cole eventually became the ultimate bad boy, the Source, Charmed's answer to Satan. Then Phoebe and her sisters vanquished him, not before he impregnated her with his demon spawn though, which of course made Phoebe evil. They aborted the baby...Now I'm pro life, but the devil child, I'm OK with terminating that baby. Cole came back yet again reborn from the sludge of the underworld. Again, not so much with the good. The Charmed ones knocked him out again and he became a plastic surgeon.

Bill Compton True Blood/The Southern Vampire Novels: Another vamp with a heart who could kick Cullen's pasty butt. (Maybe I should make a post about that!) "Vampire Bill" as many of the characters in True Blood call him (I'm still working through the novels, damn you school!) doesn't look for trouble, but it finds him alright. As a result it also find his flame, psychic Sookie. Bill pushes her away quite a few times to "keep her safe" (Classic good vampire behavior) but we don't know what's going to go down in season 2. We do hope that Bill romps around that graveyard in his undershirt again.

Bad Boys Who Wouldn't Consider Good: These guys aren't redeemed, have no interest in redemption and are just plain bad. And that just makes us want them more.

Chuck Bass Gossip Girl:Oh Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, what are we going to do with you? You scheme, you drink, you sexually harass and we just can't get enough of it! I rewatched the pilot recently and I still don't understand why Jenny was so against him groping her! He slick and smooth. He's come close to redemption a couple of times...all because of Blair, but she's about as bad as he is, so they get stuck, not to mention some little problems hit them, pregnancy scares, his father dies, blah blah blah. Now he's trying to bring down some secret society. Whatever, as long as they end up together, I don't think any of us care.

James "Sawyer" Ford Lost: Sawyer's a bad guy, but it's not his fault! He watched his father kill his mother and then himself. He's tried to be good, but once you get in on the con, there's no getting out. Sawyer has one rule on the Island and one rule alone:Survive. Even the love of a good woman (Kate, and to an extent Juliet) couldn't quell him. Although he did selflessly jump off the chopper for Kate (Now that she's back PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let them get back together!) but let's not forget back in season one when Sawyer ramsacked the plane, and wouldn't give that guy his asthma meds. Oh and when he screwed Ana Lucia in the woods in season 2. Remember that stuff? Yeah, I though you did. Son of a bitch.

Rhett Butler Gone With The Wind:
Rhett looks like a gentleman, but don't let that fool you. He's a scoundrel of the highest degree. That's why Scarlett loves him so much. He smokes, he drinks, he gambles, he sleeps with hookers (and Madame, Belle Watling) he drags his wife by her hair to their bed and then basically pushes her down the stairs causing her to miscarry. But let's not lie, we'd all pick him over the whiny mopey honarable Ashley Wilkes. Frankly, my dears, we give a damn! Oh yeah we do.

Smart Bad Boys: These guys are smart, so smart that no one understands them. So their only recourse is to do bad things. Sometimes all they need is the right girl to open them up...or to get caught.

Jess Mariano Gilmore Girls:
We had just hit puberty and there he was. He stepped off a bus and with a few surly grunts and sarcastic comments a whole generation of girls sighed and realized they wanted this boy. He was well read, he talked back to adults, even cool ones like Lorelai Gilmore and Luke Danes, he was sensitive and genuinely cool. Oh right and he was beautiful! We didn't stand a chance. And neither did Rory Gilmore. She fell for hi and for a brief golden moment all was right with the world. Then he ran away, broke her heart, came back, she had an affair with Dean (stupid goody goody, whiny, floppy haired Dean) she met Logan, Jess came back, yelled at her about Logan, she went to Philly to see him, they almost hook up, then Milo and Alexis broke up and this epic love story ended with a big fat question mark. Except all true Gilmore fans knwo that when President Obama was campaigning in Philly they got back together and lived happily ever after.

Dy
lan McKay Beverly Hills, 90210: Dylan's not so much bad, so much as he's unmotivated. And bad, so bad. He's every bad boy cliche in the book. He smokes, he used to drink (and sometimes still does) his parents don't love him, he drives a motorcycle, he wears a leather jacket, he cheats on his girlfriend with her best friend (You thought I forgot didn't you? Haha, I did not!) But something about Dylan just makes us all (especially Brenda) give him chance after chance after chance.

Will Hunting Good Will Hunting:
Its not your fault Will! Will's from the wrong side of the tracks, and man-o is he smart. He can do upper level super math because he read Steven Hawking's book. He's read like every book. But his foster dad beat him. And he's embarassed of his friends, and he just can't open up and let Skylar in! So he lies, and he jokes around, and beats people up, and gets drunk with the Affleck brothers...I mean those two guys he grew up with.

Danny Ocean Ocean's 11, 12, 13 etc.:
Oh George, with your roguish good looks and wonderful smile. Never has your charisma shone through quite like it did in the Ocean's movies. It's all about the plan. And the plan, robbing multiple casinos, lifting priceless works of art, cheating a casino, is how he showcases his smarts, which lead to his bad boy antics. He also got caught, a lot. Went to prison a few times, but he got out, and went right back into the game. It's who he is.

Indiana Jones, Indiana Jones and The Raiders of The Lost Ark, The Temple of Doom, The Last Crusade and Kingdom of The Crystal Skull: Indy's a brilliant archeologist. He also kicks the butts of Nazis and gets laid...a lot. Indy walked away not once, but two times from Marion Ravenwood, the love of his life and the mother of his child, Lewis Stevens, I mean, Mutt Williams. He was just too Indy not too. The whip doesn't hurt the bad boy image either.

So there you have it...Anyone else you want to add?

3 comments:

Jen said...

"Except all true Gilmore fans knwo that when President Obama was campaigning in Philly they got back together and lived happily ever after."

Heck yes!

For some reason, I hadn't thought of Indiana Jones as a bad boy. I am now wondering why that was. Possibly 'cause he was a not!Boy Scout?

brat_packer said...

This is not fair! I have massive love for ANGEL going on 12 years now, plus a total Dylan craving (minus Kelly of course) but i also totally adore many of your other choices. But for me it will always be ANGEL, who would totally kick Edwards butt, and show him how to really brood. Buffy and Angel are meant to be together, always.

Anonymous said...

O YES!!! TEAM JAKE ALL THE WAY!! and thank you for saying it! once again??? BELLA SHOULD HAVE PICKED JACOB!!!!! but im happy jake got renesmee in the end :)