Single People on V-Day

I'm perpetually single. I don't have boyfriends...I never have. This makes me sad quite often. It makes me very sad around this time of the year. Valentines day is an excuse for single people to eat chocolate and drink a bottle of wine and watch movies that squash all thoughts of romance. (What? That's not what I'm doing tomorrow...uh uh! Actually it probably is.) Over the week, my single girl friends and I have been putting together a list of things to watch besides a Sex and The City marathon, and won't make you cry, at least, not about not having a boyfriend or girlfriend.

1. A Hard Day's Night, Help or Yellow Submarine: Forget romance! The Beatles movies don't even have coherent plots. But they are a whole lot of fun and the music is great.

2. Cruel Intentions: Just been dumped? Or don't have anyone at all? At least your boyfriend didn't deflower you in a twisted attempt to have sex with his step sister. Oh right, and naked Ryan Phillipe. Really, that should be enough.

3. Anything produced by but not written by Judd Apatow except Forgetting Sarah Marshall: Initially this was "Anything with Apatow's name on it" but The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up are actually pretty romantic and Forgetting Sarah Marshall is the love story I want to happen to me...mostly because I would do anything for a guy like Jason Segel...but Superbad and Pineapple Express...really they're the perfect V-Day treats! Silliness, guys who you would never ever want to end up with...except Michael Cera, who's just adorable.

4. Zoolander: Just trust Blue Steel...also WHAM! WHAM just makes you happy.

5. Sin City: Really? I need to go on...OK...It's a movie about an unstoppable killer who's avenging the murder of hooker who he loves. Or a crazy lone gun with a mysterious past who's defending the hooker he loves. Or a disgraced cop protecting the stripper who loves him after he saved her from a pedophile when she was a little girl. Not romantic.

6. Anything directed by Quentin Tarantino, especially Pulp Fiction: BLOOD! GORE! F-BOMBS! COCAINE! Not romantic, but awesome.

7. Fight Club: Sure, Chuck Pahdluck claims that Fight Club is the 90s version The Great Gatsby. But really? Tyler/The Narrator and Marla's relationship isn't quite the expansive love of Daisy and Gatsby. In fact its totally secondary to a bunch of guys running around beating the snot out of each other, cutting off people's balls and Meatloaf's man boobs. Also, shirtless Brad Pitt and Edward Norton.

8. Down With Love: So it's actually a really sweet chick flick. But its less about that and more about the clothes...And Ewan McGregor channeling Frank Sinatra. Mm...

9. Uplifting Based on A True Story Sports Films: Rudy, Brian's Song, Remember The Titans, Miracle, any of them.

10. Animal House: Substitute Old School, Accepted or Talladega Nights, if you can't get a hold of the real thing. The point is that there should be farting and lots of it and if possible a food fight.

Things to stay away from: Anything starring Hugh Grant except maybe Mickey Blue Eyes, and that only after a few drinks. Anything based on a novel by Jane Austen or Nicholas Sparks. Say it with me: I will not watch The Notebook, I will not watch A Walk To Remember, I will not fantasize about Mr. Darcy showing up at my house and telling me I'm his soulmate. Disney Princesses are also a bad plan, and classic romances.

So that's my little pop culture Valentine's fix...Hope it helps <3 and if not, this is the quote that always gets me through this darkest of days:

I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.

Yeah...I know I said to resist the Sex and The City pull...but no one knows better how to deal with being single than Carrie.