No One Loves Dick Whitman...except I love Mad Men

Mad Men is back.

Now that I've had some time to process the premier, I'm ready to say that I liked it. I didn't know how I felt about it at first, but let's face it, ambiguity is kind of the point with Mad Men, so I've decided that I liked it.

I loved the way things lined up. I love Megan and Don's marriage. I love that she knows about Dick Whitman and vehemently doesn't give a shit. I love that Peggy is still pissed about Megan. I love that Joan loves being a mother to her and Roger's son Kevin, but she still wants to get back to work, and doesn't feel guilty or torn about it at all. (This is why Joan kicks ass, by the way.) I love that Roger and Jane's marriage continues to deteriorate. Because that's what happens Roger, when you leave awesome Mona for someone who isn't Joan! I love that Don hated the stupid surprise party Megan threw him as much as the stupid dinner parties that Betty would throw.

I really love that just about everyone's situation has changed except Pete. Because Pete is just a douchebag. Also, I love that we saw Trudy and not Betty. A lot of people didn't like that. But I thought it was awesome. Because Betty is terrible. I don't just mean that she's a bitch (she is) or that she's crazy (also, yes) I mean that she's a terribly boring character. Now that she's not married to Don, really, who cares? I don't care about her life with Henry except Sally's there. And Sally Draper is my favorite kid on TV (Sorry Luke Dunphy and Arya Stark, you guys are good too, just not Sally good.)

Anyway, I'm psyched Mad Men is back, and I've spend the past few night staring at 60's dresses on eBay for that reason.

It's the Beat of Her Heart: The Promise of Smash and The Failure of Glee

It started out small. A breath, a tiny little line that struck a chord with a few hundred people in this world:

"Being a part of something special makes you special, right?"

When nearly four years ago, Rachel Berry earnestly said those words to Will Schuester, we all exhaled. It was here. It had been threatening for so long, the re-mainstreaming of musicals. We'd been hoping since Chicago, living through Camp, and High School Musical, and Dreamgirls and You're the One That I Want, and a dozen other misfires. But this, this little show, about a glee club in Ohio, this was the one we were waiting for.

How quickly we were proved wrong. Yes, Glee was plenty mainstream. And yes, some of it's elements do musicals proud, but it lost focus somewhere along the line and became instead of telling a coherent story aided by song and dance (and sometimes told through them) a convoluted mess of unresolved plots, inconsistent characters and uninspired pop covers.

Three seasons later I'm still watching, but I don't know why. I rarely enjoy it anymore, and end each Tuesday night at 9, frustrated that this promising baby, born of two genres I love, musicals and teen dramadey never delivered on it's promises.

Glee was a false savior. But I think it did a more important job, which was to provide television a platform for Smash.

If you haven't been watching, Smash is a brilliant new show on NBC about putting on a Broadway musical, starring among others, Debra Messing, Angelica Houston, the guy that played the Commodore in The Pirates of The Caribbean, and a stable of Broadway actors (Will Chase & Christian Borle to name two of them.)

But that's not the main event. The main event is the two female leads, played by American Idol runner up Katherine McPhee and Broadway vet Megan Hilty. They play two girls vying for the coveted role of Marilyn Monroe in Marilyn: The Musical. The two couldn't be more different. Hilty is a veteran chorus girl named Ivy Lynne, who has been working Broadway for ten years, and McPhee plays Karen Cartright, a fresh face new comer from Iowa who is seriously talented. You probably saw the endless promos featuring her singing Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful." That was a great moment but there have been endless amazing musical moments since then. I even don't hate Nick Jonas anymore because he was totally endearing singing "I Just Haven't Met You Yet" in episode 3.

All of the characters are compelling, the plot lines a wonderful and soapy, and apparently the logistics are absurdly realistic (if slightly heightened for dramatic effect.) Smash is doing amazing things, and I can't wait to see where it goes. Of course, six episodes in, there was still a lot of hope for Glee too.

But Glee didn't open their sixth episode with Bernadette Peters singing "Everything's Coming Up Roses." So point, Smash.

New Season Awards

OK, so now that I've gotten most of the new seasony stuff whittled down, here are some of the things that I have to say about it, a few "awards" if you will. Not all of them are positive

Best Pilot:

New Girl. Hands down, this show gets the award for best from moment one. I was a little skeptical, because it seemed a little too similar to a certain ignored TBS sitcom with the EXACT SAME PREMISE. (RIP My Boys...I will continue to sing your praises for all time.) But Zooey Deschanel is adorable, the guys are hilarious and really, can any of us really deny that we've been running around for the past two weeks singing, "Who's that girl? It's Jess!"

Best Comeback:

Glee. Let's face the facts, last season Glee was, umm, let's say it was distracted. Distracted is a good word. But it seems to be on it's way back. Who knew that all it would take was a breath of fresh air from Blaine, the return of Shelby Corcoran, and a new villain in the form of a tone deaf Vanessa Lengies, her character is named Sugar, but I'm just gonna call her Roxanne. Also, shifting the musical focus from top 40 regurgitation to interesting renditions of showtunes, classic pop/rock and standards. There have only been two episodes and we've already gotten six Broadway belts (Ding dong the witch is Dead, Hey Big Spender, Anything Goes/Anything You Can Do I can do Better, Somewhere and Something's Coming.)

Biggest Surprise
Ringer. I thought that Ringer was going to be awful. It isn't it's kind of wonderful in that guilty pleasure CW kind of way. Plus it's Buffy and Richard Alpert (Buffy and Lost related CSD is one crazy combo, and guarantees all kind of out there plot twists.)

Biggest Pilot Let Down
Free Agents. I wanted to love Free Agents. I really did. It has a phenomenal cast. I don't love Free Agents. I don't know how I feel about it. That kind of fits in really well with the spirit of that show though.

Biggest Post Pilot Let Down
Pan Am. I loved the pilot for Pan Am...I loved the concept. Mad Men, on a plane, with spies. But episode 2 was a mess. And Christina Ricci needs more attention. Her character is awesome. She's like, Joan Hollaway...but on a plane.

Best Comeback (Showrunner Edition)
Josh Schwartz. OK, so Chuck had a little bit to do with restoring my faith in Josh, but Hart of Dixie pushed it right on over the edge. If the adorable Rachel Bilson vehicle, and the spy comedy of all spy comedies have been where his focus have been, it explains so much of why Gossip Girl has been so sloppy and awful the past few seasons. And so Josh, I forgive you for Blair/Dan and Jenny/Chuck, so long as Zoe Hart sticks around.

So, that's what's happening in my head right now. What about some other thoughts on the new season?

West Side Stor-Glee

OK, so I spent a good chunk of my life and I don't mean recently, I mean in my entire 23 years, analyzing, over thinking and casting and recasting West Side Story. So now that Glee is embracing this, the greatest of all musicals. (Seriously, it's THE BEST MUSICAL EVER)

So, here's my New Directions Casting of West Side Story (regardless of whatever maimed version Murphy, Falchuck and the other guy decided)

Tony: Blaine (the ONLY choice
Maria: Rachel (again)
Riff: Puck
Bernardo: Mike Chang (did you know that in the show Bernardo doesn't sing, but he has to dance like a Mofo?)
Anita: Santana
Action: Artie (I know he's directing the show, but really? Could it be anyone else in that club singing Officer Krupke?)
Rosalia: Mercedes
Anybodys: Tina
Baby John: Kurt
A-Rab: Finn
Graziella: Brittney
Chino: Ok, look there is no clear choice for Chino in New Directions and we're out of boys.
Velma: Quinn
The Shark Girls: The Cheerios
The Jet Boys: The Warblers

So yeah, that's how it should happen.

It probably won't.

Edit By Big Bro Mike: Finn as Riff and a random warbler as A-Rab solves a few problems. It allows Puck to play Bernardo and them you can shift Mike Chang to Chino. There DONE!

Summer Lovin

So I spent the summer finally watching two shows that I'd been meaning to watch for a while.

Mad Men and Chuck.

You do not get more different than these two shows. Or their leading men.

I have huge crushes on both of them.

Jon Hamm
and Zachary Levi

One, is a lovable dork who I would go on silly dates with and then introduce to my mother.

The other I would be terrified to speak to but would totally let him take me on a conference room table. (Has Don Draper done it on a conference room table? I feel like he has...)

Anyway, so I got two new TV crushes this year. YAY!

Plus both of their erm...side projects are equal deserving of my adoration, such as:




Really? Wouldn't you buy Jon Hamm's John Ham?





And Zach Levi's a GD DISNEY PRINCE! And the best looking one since Aladdin, I might add.

Oh, and um, speaking of people I'm in love with...

Thor comes out on DVD tomorrow....

SIGH....

E + Sloan TLF

As a follow up to my post about last week's Entourage.

Sloan is moving to New York.

Which I'm interpreting to mean that the show is ending with E moving to New York to be with her.

And again, with the whining, if it's anything else.

Seriously? Look how cute they are. TLF!

Reasons Why You Should Watch Hawaii 5-0 Next Season

It doesn't take a whole lot of outlining for this one. But I will say that 5-0 is one of the best new shows of the year. (I'm going to do a run down of my, and my family and friends favorites sometime in the next two weeks.) So I'm just going to jump into it.

1. Because Scott Caan is one of the funniest men to ever live. And possibly the most underrated of Ocean's 11.

2. Because they employ every Asian actor ever. Seriously. If you've seen someone Asian in a movie or on TV, chances are they have been or will be on 5-0. It's kind of cool for the diversity of TV.

3. James Marsters is the bad guy. He doesn't have the bleached hair, but it's still awesome.

4. For those so inclined, Grace Park.



5. For those otherwise inclined, Alex O'Loughlin


6. In case you missed Lost too much this year, Daniel Dae Kim runs around the jungle sometimes.

7. Larissa Oleynek seems to be sticking around. Which means that Alex Mack is taking down bad guys again. If you were born between 1984 and 1991, you know how seriously awesome that is.

8. Epic guest stars, including Dane Cook, Diddy, Nick Lachey and that girl he's marrying.

9. Jean Smart plays the governor.

10.
11. So far both Billy Walsh and Mrs. Ari have been murderers. I'm waiting for Sloane, Lloyd (being Asian he'll probably get in on the act) and any other recurring but important Entourage characters to show up.

12. More explosions per hour than a Michael Bay movie, and way better writing.

13. The guy that taught Jason Segel how to kill a pig in Sarah Marshall is a recurring guest star. (Seriously, EVERY ASIAN ACTOR EVER!)

Watch the show.

Take to the skys

Smallville ended last night. And since my roommate and I decided to stay in, get drunk and make fun of it. (Neither of us had actually watched the show in about 3 years, but finales get exceptions.)

It was a 2 part finale and we were able to follow pretty well:

Part 1 was an hour long love letter to Smallville stupidity. I love some stupid shows, but Smallville is one of the stupidest of all. It has taken more completely retarded plot elements and elevated them to TV melodrama gold more times than every other teen drama before or since. Why? Because this one has superheros, so you get retarded superhero plots and retarded teen drama plots.

Part 1 featured Lois and Clark's aborted wedding, Clark having conversations with his dead father, Oliver being brainwashed by the remnants of Veritas (Yeah, that's are still around) and Lionel Luthor (who I thought was dead, but sure) reviving a clone of Lex by selling his soul.

Part 2 was way better. In my roommate Steph's words, "Wow, that made up for 3 years of complete sucking." And it really did. By 9:30 Lex was back, had made several speeches on "important men of history," and had relived his Smallville journey, losing his hair to the meteors, getting beaten by his father, baby Gabriel's death, getting bullied at boarding school, meeting Clark, falling in love with Lana, marrying Lana, etc. Plus he had told Clark he needed to save the world to fulfill both of their destinies.

Then Clark headed to The Fortress of Solitude, chatted with Jor-El and relived his Smallville journey, saving Lex, saving Lana from that Tornado (awesome), saving Chloe over and over and over, Saving Lois. He realized he had to embrace his destiny. And then he got the suit.

The suit, let's talk about the suit. First of all, it looked good on Tom Welling, I can't find a picture yet, but I'll update later in the day if I find one. It was way better than the Superman Returns suit, and it worked perfectly.

Anyway, then Clark lifted a plane, smiled at Lois and flew off into space to stop a planet that was hurdling towards earth.

Then came the scare. The picture changed and it became a comics drawing of Superman, and Chloe was holding it, reading it to a small blonde boy. For a second, you thought that the whole series had just been Chloe telling a story to her kid. Horrifying. Then you saw the kid look over at a quiver of toy arrows. (Oh right, did you know that Chloe and Oliver were married? I didn't but they were, so you know, cool, I guess?) That's when we knew the show was "real" Thank God!

The final, final moments took place in the best place possible, The Daily Planet offices. Lois exited Perry White's office while Perry yelled, she talked to Jimmy Olsen (who we can assume is real Jimmy, not you know his secret dead big brother, but was still played by an Ashmore, and I kind of hope he's the other one, because that would be funny.) Then she and Clark bumped into each other and quipped about their upcoming wedding. We saw on TV that Lex had been elected president and then Clark had to go to the roof and fly off to save the world.

And they played the Superman theme and it was over and it was epic.

We got all the iconography and it was epic. Well done Smallville.

The Ultimate Burn

I have this strange feeling that we're all being Punk'd at the moment.

CBS, Warner Brothers and Chuck Lorre have announced that Ashton Kutcher is going to be replacing Charlie Sheen on 2 1/2 Men. I don't know how, no details have come out, but I have 3 theories:

1. It will be a Charmed-like scenario. Charlie will be killed off, or sent off or whatever, and we will find out that Alan and Charlie had a here-to-for unknown half brother, played by Ashton shows up. Much like Charlie he is a degenerate man boy.

2. Charlie's gone and to stay in the house Alan has to rent a room to Ashton. Much like Charlie he is a degenerate man boy.

3. The bizarrely large 2 1/2 Men audience tunes in that Monday night in the fall at 9:30 and we hear the theme music, you know "Men, men, men, men, manly men men..." and then we see Ashton standing in the living room and he looks into the camera and shouts. "Haha American Sitcom audience, you just got Punk'd!"

And then the audience cries like Justin Timberlake.

Classic

Pop Goes the Prom

Tonight is the most epic night in the history of nights.

That's right, it's Glee's Prom Night episode. I try not to read spoilers, because I love to be surprised but I do know a few things.

Quinn is going to smack Rachel in her pouty little face.

and

JESSE ST JAMES is going to be back.

I won't even get into how much I love Jonathan Groff, (described by my sister Mary as "The Straightest Gay Man Alive") because this post isn't about how Groff has been playing dreamy broody teen boys for almost a decade now while living happily out of the closet, it's about the best proms in the history of pop culture (of which this will surely be one.)

10. Sunnydale Senior Prom, Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Why it ranks:
Because of the hellhounds that were unleashed, causing panic. Because it began the Anya/Xander relationship. Because Wesley kissed Cordelia and it was awful, but hilarious. Because Angel came, danced with Buffy and gave her the "one normal high school moment" she had been craving. Because the (at this point) adorable Jonathan presented Buffy with the "class protector" superlative. And it was awesome!

How Glee can beat it:
It can't...move on.

9. The Anti-Prom: Dawson's Creek


Why it ranks:
Because it was the height of Dawson's self righteous, "I'm the nice guy so Joey should love me" phase. Because Jack learned what a douche that guy he was dating was. Because it allowed for "Leary's Fresh Fish" to be shoehorned into the plot ONE LAST TIME before season 3 ended. Because Jen took Henry and they were adorable. Because it was the moment when Joey realized she loved Pacey. Because it finally removed the random and useless Nelly from any and all plot lines in the future.

How Glee can beat it:
Burt Hummel, who makes Mitch Leary look like a father who neglects his kid except when he hits him, so John Whitter, makes sure that Kurt can bring Blaine, thus allowing Brittney to bring Santana, or Brittney and Artie get back together.

8. Manny and Paige Showdown: Degrassi: The Next Generation



Why it ranks:
Because Paige and Manny showed up in the same dress and Paige arranged to have her win prom queen only to humiliate her. Because it was the first time Jimmy was back at Degrassi since he was shot. Because JT and Liberty were still a couple. Because I'm pretty sure Emma still had gonorrhea of the throat. Because Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes were there for no explicable reason (except that they were filming a movie at Degrassi.) Because Downtown Sasquatch played.

How Glee can beat it:
Downtown Sasquatch plays. Except that I think if Jonathan Groff and Jake Epstein are on film together it will rip a hole in the space time continuum, also Aubrey Graham is a little busy. But a kick ass surprise celebrity guest star wouldn't go amiss.

7. "You said you couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in you": Pretty in Pink


Why it ranks:
Because it's the only time John Hughes took on the prom, which means it must be the most epic prom of all time. Because after it all, Andie and Blane kiss in the rain by his car. Because Duckie wears a bolo tie.

How Glee can beat it:
Kiss in the rain. Anyone can kiss in the rain.

6. Two proms, one crazier than the last: One Tree Hill



Why it ranks:
Because at one of them, Peyton didn't show because Psycho Derek tied her up in her basement and tortured her with autotuned versions of her own podcasts. Because at the first one, Peyton had painted "whore" on Brooke's dress prompting Brooke to go rescue her from Psycho Derek. Because the second one was in the town that one the "best OTH fans contest." Because at the second one the whole cast dressed up in 70s clothes. Because at the second one Chris Keller was there. Because Haley was pregnant at both proms and no one blinked.

How Glee can beat it:
Terry kidnaps and tortures Emma by throwing dirt on her, and Will saves her. New Directions gets hired to sing at the Dalton prom, thus creating an epic "second prom" scenario for Glee, which I have already discussed is the same show as OTH.

5. "I just wanted her to have the perfect night": Gossip Girl

Why it ranks:
Because Serena and Dan went "as friends" which is always hilarious. Because Nate and Blair broke up amicably, in the first and only case of lower drama making for a better episode in GG history. Because the B storyline was a failed pilot for a spin off about Lily in the 80s. Because Blair was elected prom queen. Because it turned out the whole night was an elaborate manipulation of Chuck's to make sure that Blair had the perfect prom night. (And I cried and cried)

How Glee can beat it:
Rachel does the same for Finn. Or Finn arranged for Jesse to come to bring Rachel so she can have the perfect prom night.

4. "Dad, I'm going to the prom!" "Very funny sweetie!": 10 Things I Hate About You
Why it ranks:
Because Save Ferris and Letters to Cleo performed. Because Bianca punched Joey in the face. Because even though Kat and Patrick get into that fight you know he feels really bad about it. Because Bianca's prom dress is the most epically 90s prom dress ever. (Bright pink satin and her midrift is bared)

How Glee can beat it:
I think they might, because it looks like Quinn is going to punch Rachel in the face. Good for you Glee!

3. Donna Throws up in the bathroom and gets suspended: Beverly Hills 90210

Why it ranks:
Really? I need to lay this one out? OK, um, Because Donna got drunk, threw up in the bathroom, and got suspended. This paved the way for the epic "Donna Martin Graduates!" storyline. And some half assed message about underage drinking.

How Glee can beat it:
Much like Buffy, this one is just too epic and iconic. Nothing Glee does will touch it.

2. "Is that all I am to you Zach? Am I a bet? Am I a F*@#KING bet?": She's All That


Why it ranks:
Because half the student body knew a choreographed dance number. Because rather than bring another girl than the one he loved, Freddie Prinze Jr. brought his little sister (Anna Paquin). Because Paul Walker brings Rachel Leigh Cook to screw with Freddie Prinze Jr. (That is the most 90s sentence ever written.) Because the "cool hot girl" who was no where near as hot as Rachel Leigh Cook wore the second most 90s prom dress ever. Because Usher DJ'd the party.

How Glee can beat it:
Usher.

1. "Is this a party or what? LET'S DANCE!" - Footloose

Why it ranks:



Because of that.

How Glee can beat it:
Finn sings "Footloose." Also maybe Kevin Bacon shows up? I don't know. It's a thought.

So there you have it folks.

Titans or Ravens...Does it matter?

OK, so Katherine and I (soon, oh so soon, I will do an entire post about Katherine and how she is totally the genius behind all of my hilarity, because she is) have spent literally hours talking about the ways that Glee compares to the most generic (and awesome) show in television history, One Tree Hill. And trust me, it totally does.

Once upon a time there was a boy, and this boy was pure of heart and well intentioned and respected his lovely girlfriends, both the blonde and brunette and that Hispanic one that might have been a lesbian that time, and he was kind and good and heroic and everyone loved him, except that he kept doing terrible things so that we could be constantly reminded that he was in fact a teen age boy, and therefore awful. And what was that boy's name? Why it was Lucas Scott! It was also Finn Hudson.

There was once a sassy brunette girl in a high school, she was the leader of her clique. She had a super nice guy boyfriend. She was far too talented for the small town she grew up in. She realized at a certain point that she needed to get over her super nice guy boyfriend and find herself and develop her talent. She planned to go off to New York to pursue her dreams. That girl's name was Brooke Davis, it was also Rachel Berry.

There was a blonde girl, who was very pretty. She was kind of bitchy, but this was all to mask her terrible insecurities. She was truly deep and wounded and no one understood her except for super nice guy, and sometimes the brunette girl, when they weren't fighting with each other over super nice guy. Her name was Peyton Sawyer and also Quinn Fabray.

They had a dippy blonde sometimes friend (Bevin/Brittney), a teacher who was far too involved in their everyday lives (Mr Schu/Coach Whitey), a black sidekick friend, (Mercedes/Skills) and ridiculous things kept happening to them, involving ill timed pregnancies and lies and betrayal.

But tonight everything just got weirder! It turns out before she transferred to McKinley, Quinn was named Lucy and was chubby and had a different nose. I won't spoil how we got to this information, and I'm only revealing it here, because well, we've seen this before.

In season 3 of OTH we learned that bitchy new girl, Rachel Gatina had previously been a chubby outcast, at her last school. Then, after lipo, a nose job and boob job, she transferred to Tree Hill High, became the bane of Brooke and Haley's existence and made the best guy ever Mouth fall in love with her.

So, OK, I know I said that Quinn was Peyton before, but that's just for the case of the love triangle, in this case she's Rachel, and it's a really strange storyline to recycle.

If someone's emotionally abusive father comes back and shoots their uncle in the hallway, then we'll know something's really up....

Off the Wagon

I don't think it will shock anyone to see that it didn't take much for me to get re-addicted to the show from which I stole my blog name. I can't help it, like the most epic couple in the history of television, Chuck and Blair, I can't seem to resist the pull of Gossip Girl.
Yes, that's right, I've fallen off the wagon. I have been sucked back into it.

All of it.

The bad puns. The ridiculous couture. The intrigue. The brooding stares.

All of it.

The current plot...um, Dan likes Blair (awful), Serena's dating some guy no one cares about (meh), Blair still loves Chuck but doesn't think that he's ready for a real relationship (always), Nate is sleeping with a random girl who has no perceptible personality (duh), and Lily is about to go to jail (AWESOME!).

I'm slowly getting caught up on the stuff I missed, with the help of recaps, and illegal watch sites, but there's only so much Gossip Girl you can take in a day before your head turns to mush, so it will take a little bit.

Last night was particularly epic, because Serena and Erik's dad and their grandma Cece both showed up. There's always epic awesomeness when Cece shows up. Plus a new character, Serena's cousin Charlie. Normally interchangeable cousins (which is what this girl is, she's Serena, but new) are a sign of cast changes. I hope this means that Blake's leaving. But it probably doesn't.

XOXO

Pop-cabulary

I realized earlier today that when I said used one of my favorite made up words that my friends and I use to describe things in pop culture, or life in a pop culture context. So here's a quick index of some of those words:

Jimandpam- verb When a TV couple isn't even on again off again, simply will they or won't they. Derived from The Office, who went 4 seasons Jimandpamming us all over the place, with Jim and Pam.

Used in a sentence:
"I'm getting fed up with Glee and how they keep jimandpamming Will and Emma."

Entering OTH Territory - verb, meaning when a show leaves behind all pretenses of being grounded in reality, or at all original. Derived from the way One Tree Hill did around the middle of season 2, when Nathan had that dream where he and Lucas switched places.

Used in a sentence:
"When Liz Lemmon dumped Matt Damon on the plane 30 Rock totally entered OTH Territory."

McLaren's - noun, any bar that is located underneath a residence. Derived from the bar where they hang out on How I Met Your Mother, which is located under Ted's apartment.

Used in a sentence:
"Remember when Katie had that apartment in Hoboken and we went to McLaren's?"

Character Separation Disorder (CSD) - noun, A difficult personality disorder in which a pop culture addict cannot separate an actor from the iconic roles they have played. Derived from something that I do frequently, also when my brother suggested that Martin Sheen could get elected president, because people in this country are that stupid and oblivious.

Used in a sentence:
-My favorite part of He's Just Not That Into You is when Rachel Greene marries Holden McNeil. It's so nice that he's not a neurotic paleontologist, and she's not a lesbian.
-The thing is, in that example, you're not suffering from CSD, that's just how lazy the characterization in that movie was.

The Jacob - noun, the third, usually more awesome tip of a love triangle who for some reason the main person in the triangle doesn't choose. Derived from Twilight, and Bella Swann's inexcusable stupidity of choosing Edward Cullen over Jacob Black, particularly in the movie versions, where she is choosing Robert Pattinson over Taylor Lautner and it makes no sense at all what so ever

Used in a sentence:
In this whole forced, QuinnFinnRachel triangle Rachel is totally the Jacob. But in the PuckQuinnFinn triangle, it's Puck and in the FinnRachelJesse triangle, it's Jesse. (Glee works well for this one, because like Twilight, it's protagonists are really stupid and whine a lot.)

Those are a few examples, any others?

Awesome Sauce

So in the most insanely random twist of a wedding since Naley got hitched in 2004, (I didn't even watch One Tree Hill back then, and I remember going, "WHAT?") last night on Parks and Recreation, April and Andy surprised everyone by throwing a dinner party that it turned out was actually their wedding.

Parks and Recreation in general snuck up on me, I hated the first few episodes, but often watched anyway, because of its time slot, and then somewhere in the middle of the second season I realized that I liked it, and then about three episodes into this season, I realized I loved it. What I love the most is the way it manages to wear its heart on its sleeve, and be completely hilarious at the same time in a way that few shows are able to do. Actually the only example I can come up with is The Cosby Show.

I particularly love the April and Andy relationship, and I'm thrilled that they've decided not to "Jimandpam" (a verb coined by my friend Katie, meaning "keep us waiting on a couple") them around for ever, and instead have created a "stable super couple" in the model of well, Naley, also Turk and Carla from Scrubs and Monica and Chandler from Friends.

The wedding made me cry, including the pair's character perfect vows:

April: I guess, I hate most things. But I never really seemed to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Is that cool?

Andy: I vow to protect you from dangers. I don't care if I have to fight an ultimate fighter, or a bear, or him...I would take him down. I'm getting mad right now from thinking about it.

Also, it pushed the Leslie/Ben flirting? forward, thank God, they're adorable, some killer Ron Swanson one liners, and Chris brought a vegetable loaf instead of a cake. So there's that.

To Scott with Love

So, as the TV season starts into its final push, I'm getting ready for the end of The Office...

OK, the show's not actually ending, really. But what's the point of watching once Michael Scott, played by Steve Carrell makes his exit?

Granted maybe I'm not the most reliable. I am the person who still watched Scrubs after Zach Braff left and actually thought it was decent. (It was a dark time in my life, OK? And Dave Franco is really, really cute! And the Denise/Drew love story made me smile) And sure, as long as they don't make the same mistake Scrubs did and make the office about all new characters, except say, Jim and Ryan, who become supporting players and for some reason Pam and Kelly aren't even mentioned, it might be OK.

But for now, let us recall some of our favorite Michael Scott moments:

1. Threat Level Midnight: A running joke throughout the show, this season we finally saw Michael's action masterpiece, Threat Level Midnight, the story of Michael Scarn's defeat of the evil Goldface. Aside from the turdtastic movie itself, the fun here was getting to see some of the old minor characters return. Roy as a hostage, Karen as a bachelorette in a bar. Jan as a lounge singer, Pam's mom as a sexy nurse. Plus Andy's role as a bartender is actually a tour de force Ed Helms performance.

2.Prison Mike: When the Stamford people were still around (except Andy, obviously) it turned out one of them was an ex con. So to acclimate the group Michael performed an improv character, "Prison Mike" who stated that the worst thing about prison was "the dementors, they were always flying around and you couldn't be happy!" (Thanks to Mary for that one)

3. "Engaged Ain't Married": I always like it when Michael gets emotional, and in the episode Booze Cruise, when he encourages Jim to go for it with Pam, despite Pam's already being engaged is super sweet.

4. The Client: Another great thing they do on The Office is show why Michael was promoted, he is a buffoon, but he's also an amazing salesman. We see that when he scmoozes Tim Meadows over margaritas and a fried onion. Brilliant storyline.

5. "Snip Snap": The Dinner Party episode is one of my all time favorites. And Michael's freak out over the multiple vasectomies, and the general awkwardness of the entire episode is great. In fact the whole Michael and Jan relationship was such a hilarious disaster, it's hard not to crack up.

So those are my favorites, what are some of your guys'?

Our time now

3rd Post of the day...I'm going to have to cut back.

But I couldn't not discuss the end of something great.

Last night was final episode of ABC Family's completely awesome Greek. Yes, after four seasons, the guys of Kappa Tau and Omega Chi and the girls of ZBZ are gone forever. Except that they're on Netflix instant, and I think I'm going to have to watch the whole show from beginning to end again.

If you don't know Greek, I'm sorry for you, because it's one of the smartest, funniest bits of fluff to come out in a while. I've recently come up with a good way to view fluff. A lot of the stuff I like is literary and performance junk food. But it doesn't have to be the processed from a can or a bag kind. It can be hand crafted deserts, which while they don't exactly have nutritional value, are still delicious. Greek was like a Magnolia Bakery cupcake. Yummy as can be, but totally fattening, empty calories.

It centered around the lives of mainly eight members of the Cyprus Rhodes University Greek System. (Cyrprus and Rhodes are Ancient Greek cities. See, the show was already smarter than you thought!) There were the girls of ZBZ, the "number one sorority on campus," with every cliche that goes with it, Casey, Ashleigh and Rebecca, the preppy boys of Omega Chi, Evan and Calvin, and finally the misfit party animals of Kappa Tau, Rusty and Cappie. Plus, Rusty's nerdy roommate, and eventual Omega Chi pledge Dale.

What made Greek great was the way its characters were never exactly what they seemed. Casey seemed bossy and determined, but it turned out to be a compassionate soft touch. Evan appeared to be only the bad guy in a John Hughes script, but was actually an intelligent, conflicted young man. Cappie seemed only a stoner lay about, but was really a philosophical genius who would do anything for the woman he loves (Casey, btw). The love triangle between these three was the catalyst behind the show, but stayed away from the cliche of others because the three characters all also were fun to watch by themselves. Ashleigh could have been a throwaway sidekick but instead outshone Casey on several occasions. Rebecca's bitchiness stemmed from her desire to fit in. Rusty and Dale were nerds with hearts of gold, who didn't always do the right thing. Calvin was the most obvious twist, a gay football playing preppy, with a desire to change the world.

The element of Greek that I always loved was the realistic portrayal of the relationship between siblings Rusty and Casey. They had their insecurities about each other, Casey felt always intimidated by Rusty's high intelligence, and Rusty by Casey's golden girl status, but they always had each other's backs.

The finale did that thing that I love when finales do, it brought about closure while still giving a distinct sense that this world will continue. Casey and Cappie left CRU for Washington, after he graduated by accident, and we learned after his diploma that "Cappie" is in fact short for "Captain" which is his first name. Ashleigh and Rusty began a new relationship (not a storyline I was rooting for) Evan and Rebecca saw that they could maybe have a future together, Calvin headed abroad to do volunteer work with boyfriend Heath, and Dale began a real relationship with longtime fling Laura. Satisfying conclusions for all. Although the destruction of the Kappa Tau house was sad and did get me teary, I was thrilled that they brought back season 1 bad guy Jen K, and that Kappa Tau Pledge Peter "Spidey" Parker was actually good all along.

Goodbye Greek. I will miss you!

How We Met Barney's Father Part I

OK, I teased it in the "Relations" post, but here it is. The plot for the Gossip Girl/How I Met Your Mother crossover that my friend Crystan and I discussed. Granted, there are some problems to negotiate, like two narrators, that grand divide of Central Park (Ted and Gang live on the Upper West Side, not East) and obviously, who meets up with who. But I think I've got it. This is different than my Glee/How I Met Your Mother crossover, where it turns out that Mr. Schue is the mother.

Opening:

Ted's Voiceover: Kids, sometimes something miraculous can happen, that changes everyone's lives. And sometimes it starts with something very small. That's what this story is about.

It all started when a mysterious blogger started following Barney's Blog, and I had two new students in my architecture class.

While sitting in Ted's apartment the gang makes quips about something fun and inane.

Barney: Hey! This weird blog that links to mine is talking about Ted's stupid architecture class.

Gossip Girl's Voice Over: Hey there Upper East Siders. Who knew that gen ed requirements could lead to such juice! Looks like B and N are taking a class that has lead us to some interesting information about C. Their new Intro to Architecture Prof is often mentioned in a little site I've been watching regarding C's late daddy's other interests. Here's the link!

Barney then "accepts the challenge" to figure out who the mysterious B, N and C are.

In the Bass/Vanderwoodsen/Humphrey Apartment suite whatever

Serena is dressed in an evening gown first thing in the morning lounging on the couch of the apartment where she no longer lives. Someone is making waffles, obviously. She quips to Lily who is drinking a cup of coffee about how pathetic it is the Gossip Girl is still harping about Bart Bass almost three years after his death. Lily looks worried and asks what it says.

Serena: Oh something about his other interests and how it relates to Nate and Blair's new intro to architecture professor or something.
Lily: Do you know this professor?
Serena: Just that he's in his early thirties and Blair says that he thinks he's really funny, oh and he's dating that woman who just divorced The Captain, Zoey.
Lily: Oh no, I wouldn't have thought...
Serena: Mom, what's wrong?
Lily: I don't, you can't tell Charles, Serena, but well, before he met Charles's mother, Bart had another son...

So that's part I. What do you guys think?

Let It Go!

Let me preface the following post with this:

I think that Joss Whedon is brilliant. I have made that abundantly clear in various posts. I love Firefly and Serenity. My coat may not be brown exactly, but it's definitely a deep deep tan.

OK, so there's been kind of a weird story going around the internet, started by this CNN.com article in which Nathan Fillion said that if he had the money he would buy the rights to Firefly and distribute possibly new content on the internet, and that he would definitely play his role of Malcolm Reynolds again.

The small but loyal fanbase of Firefly have now started an internet fund raising campaign to get Nathan that money. I'm not planning on donating.

Look, do I think it sucks that Firefly got the plug pulled? Yes. Do I wish that Joss could have gotten a chance to fulfill his vision for the show? You betcha! Do I think that people take those sentiments too far? Absolutely!

Firefly is hardly the only "gone too soon" show that people loved. But for some reason it's the only one that it's fans won't let go of. Twin Peaks fans don't continue to create web petitions to return to that tiny weirdo town. Aaron Sorkin's hardcore fanbase doesn't continue to whine about how unfairly NBC treated Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. Jason Segel, Seth Rogen and James Franco don't make mad declarations about how they want to revive Freaks and Geeks. (Although they could probably afford it.) So seriously what's so special about Firefly?

I honestly don't know. And I like the show. It's a nice little piece of Sci Fi. But it wasn't a perfect show, by any means. And it was probably really expensive for Fox to produce and it had next to no mass appeal. And Joss Whedon has moved on, Summer Glau has moved on, Morena Baccara has moved on. Everyone has moved on except for one tiny pocket of fans, and evidently Nathan Fillion.

By the way, those people that did move on? You know, those other shows I mentioned? Those people haven't been doing so poorly:

Kyle MacLachlan, the star of Twin Peaks has had a steady career, including paying Charlotte's first husband on Sex and The City and Bree's second on Desperate Housewives and has a recurring guest character on How I Met Your Mother. Not too shabby.

The Studio 60 gang? Um, well the creator, Aaron himself is doing OK. He's just the odds on favorite to win the Oscar for Best Original Screen Play this weekend for a little movie he wrote about some website. (I don't think that many people even saw it!) And two of the show's stars Matthew Perry and Nathan Corrdry are on two of the best mid season replacements in a while, Mr. Sunshine and Harry's Law respectively.

And the crew behind Freaks and Geeks as well as it's cast? Uh...yeah, look if you don't know what they're up to, climb back under that rock you where you were clearly living before reading this post. You'll be happier there, but before that watch Knocked Up, you won't be sorry.

So what's my point? Let Joss make The Avengers in peace. Let Morena be an evil alien overlord. Let Summer keep kidding herself with network sci fi show, after network sci fi show, after network sci fi show. Let Nathan solve crimes and quip away. Please people. Let it go!

Relations

One of the things that I've been noticing a lot lately are the stock characters that populate me favorite TV shows. So I've assembled some of my favorite sets here.

*NOTE* I decided to only go with shows that are currently on the air. If I wanted to fish back into the cancellation zone, this list would be far too epically long.

Andy Dwyer (Parks and Recreation), Finn Hudson (Glee), and Marshall Erickson (How I Met Your Mother)

These three have truly been cut from the same midwestern doofus cloth. Sure, Marshall has risen above the other two, after all he's a top corporate lawyer in New York. And while Finn is still in high school, let's be honest, he's probably not going to get past mid level insurance agent. And Andy is a shoe shine boy at a tiny city hall. But there's something that all three of them have in common, they're adorable, funny, and unfailingly sweet. OK, Finn not so much lately, what with the whole stealing Quinn from Sam thing, but generally, super sweet.

Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl), Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother), and Ari Gold (Entourage)

Where to begin? The "I am so above you attitude?" Check. The catch phrases? "Let's Hug it Out Bitch?" "Legen...wait for it..." "I'm Chuck Bass!" "DARY!" Check. The deep seeded insecurity that creates the bravado that masks a heart of gold? Check and check! Honestly, this one is what got me thinking about these connections, when my friend Crystan proposed the theory that Bart Bass was Barney's father, and that there should be an epic cross over between GG and HIMYM. (Other storylines include a Serena/Ted hookup, because he reminds her of Dan, but maybe someday I'll outline the entire plot in a post!) Ari comes in for two reasons, like Chuck he is a ruthless business man, and like Barney, he's a pig, but oblivious to it, and therefore still kind of lovable. Also, the suits. Which are really important.

Rebecca Logan (Greek) and Alice Verdura (Hellcats)


These two are quite literally the exact same character. They even look the same. They manipulate their respective systems to stay on top. (Bex the Cyprus Rhodes Greek system and Alice the Hellcats) But when it comes down to it, Rebecca would do anything for ZBZ and Alice would do anything for the squad. That's why we don't want them to go away. That's also why Santana Lopez (Glee) wasn't included on this list. Because as much as I love her, she'd probably sell New Directions down the river if they got too much on her bad side.

Mac (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) and Brendan (My Boys)


Aside from the looks again, these two have a few other key characteristics in common. An affinity for tee shirts, they both own bars, they both get caught up in oh so many hijinks. Plus they both have strong sexual tension with their best friend/roommate. Of course it's slightly less dysfunctional in Brendan's case, mostly because PJ is not a sociopath and Dennis is.

Andy Bernard (The Office) and Rajesh Kuthrapali (The Big Bang Theory)



Both men add an element of innocence and happiness to their respective groups. Both are socially awkward and unaware and both belong to distinct social groups. (Geek and Prep) Both are probably my favorite part of both of their shows.

Brooke Davis (One Tree Hill), Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl) and Rachel Berry (Glee)

Can't win for trying these girls. Although Brooke finally got married and Rachel finally realized that she needs to focus on her career and well, OK I stopped paying attention to Gossip Girl because it got terrible, but I'm sure Blair will get it together. Last I watched she had just started Columbia. Also, Rachel will never ever be happy until she realizes that she and Puck need to get together unless she ends up with Jesse St. James.

Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory) and Commander Steve McGarret (Hawaii Five-O)



At first sight, maybe not. But then when you think about it, they're both socially awkward, incredibly good at their jobs and dependent on a group of people who are less effecient than them to do their jobs. Which of course leads right into:

Leonard Hoffsteader (The Big Bang Theory) and Danny "Danno" Williams (Hawaii Five-O)


They spend most of their time correcting their brilliant counterpart, in the snarkyest way possible and dedicated to a pretty blond girl. Sure, Leonard it's his ex girlfriend Penny, and Danno it's his daughter Grace, but the idea is the same.

So, those are mine, any to add?

A Surprising Gift from Hell...cats

During my blog hiatus, I got hooked onto a new brand of CW branded crack, right after I kicked my Gossip Girl addiction, unfortunately. But that crack, was the cheerleading themed soap Hellcats. Like One Tree Hill before it, it seduced me with promises of being something vaguely different. It seemed like it was going to be like the original Bring it On movie, but a show. It quickly spiraled into a standard "anything can and will happen to these people but they'll all rally around something innane to get through these nutso situations," kind of show. Just like One Tree Hill, actually.

But really, what I'm grateful to Hellcats for doing is giving us the character of Savannah, played by Ashley Tisdale. First of all, I've always felt that Ashley was kind of underrated. Yes, I did used to refer to her as "That blonde from Zach and Cody with the unfortunate nose." But now she's a brunette and got a nose job, and now that she's dealing with slightly more grown up material, she's doing really well. I'm glad to see it. But it's not just Ashley's bloom that makes me happy about Savannah.

Savannah is a devout Christian, and it's a key part of her character. She's saving sex for marriage, puts her trust in God, and oh, did I mention she's not considered, crazy, weird, preachy or stupid. She's the captain of the Hellcats cheerleading squad, on a scholarship to college, was dating a nice guy, goes to parties and is a normal and functioning human being.

As someone who considers her faith paramount to her identity, and gets increasingly frustrated at how people of faith, particularly women of faith, are portrayed, usually as one of two categories, idiots and hypocrites and they're all shrewish and overly opinionated and set to convert the world. But Hellcats is giving us neither, they're giving us a fully fleshed out character, or as fully fleshed out as anyone on The CW is. Last night's episode cemented it. Because as the rest of the squad whined about how they were going to lose everything when Marty revealed that football star Jake robbed a pharmacy and framed her law professor's client causing him to be convicted of his "third strike" and put in maximum security prison for like ever or something. (See, I told you anything and everything!) Savannah insisted that whatever happened was God's plan and then got on her knees to ask Him for guidance, in the privacy of her dorm room, without pushing this element on any of the other Hellcats. It's too bad that not that many people are watching.