I don't think it will shock anyone to see that it didn't take much for me to get re-addicted to the show from which I stole my blog name. I can't help it, like the most epic couple in the history of television, Chuck and Blair, I can't seem to resist the pull of Gossip Girl. Yes, that's right, I've fallen off the wagon. I have been sucked back into it.
All of it.
The bad puns. The ridiculous couture. The intrigue. The brooding stares.
All of it.
The current plot...um, Dan likes Blair (awful), Serena's dating some guy no one cares about (meh), Blair still loves Chuck but doesn't think that he's ready for a real relationship (always), Nate is sleeping with a random girl who has no perceptible personality (duh), and Lily is about to go to jail (AWESOME!).
I'm slowly getting caught up on the stuff I missed, with the help of recaps, and illegal watch sites, but there's only so much Gossip Girl you can take in a day before your head turns to mush, so it will take a little bit.
Last night was particularly epic, because Serena and Erik's dad and their grandma Cece both showed up. There's always epic awesomeness when Cece shows up. Plus a new character, Serena's cousin Charlie. Normally interchangeable cousins (which is what this girl is, she's Serena, but new) are a sign of cast changes. I hope this means that Blake's leaving. But it probably doesn't.
So, I just checked out the trailer for the new Selena Gomez movie Monte Carlo....
Yeah, um, more importantly its Leighton Meister's new movie. It seems like a threadbare plot, but the fashion looks awesome (I expect no less of Leighton) and it's funny because we all know that Blair Waldorf is obsessed with Audrey Hepburn, and Audrey's breakthrough role was in a film called Monte Carlo Baby.
Just something I found funny, and the movie looks cute, and I keep waiting for the rest of the world to understand how much BETTER Leighton is than Blake Lively. It is Leighton who should be making out with Ryan Reynolds in a super hero blockbuster, Leighton who should be a Chanel style ambassador. But for some reason no one but me and my friend Katherine, and possibly my mother and sister, understand this. It seems that life has imitated GG that way...Blake gets all the attention.
Here's the trailer:
PS. CORY MONTEITH, and he appears to have some kind of Texas accent.
OK, I teased it in the "Relations" post, but here it is. The plot for the Gossip Girl/How I Met Your Mother crossover that my friend Crystan and I discussed. Granted, there are some problems to negotiate, like two narrators, that grand divide of Central Park (Ted and Gang live on the Upper West Side, not East) and obviously, who meets up with who. But I think I've got it. This is different than my Glee/How I Met Your Mother crossover, where it turns out that Mr. Schue is the mother.
Opening:
Ted's Voiceover: Kids, sometimes something miraculous can happen, that changes everyone's lives. And sometimes it starts with something very small. That's what this story is about.
It all started when a mysterious blogger started following Barney's Blog, and I had two new students in my architecture class.
While sitting in Ted's apartment the gang makes quips about something fun and inane.
Barney: Hey! This weird blog that links to mine is talking about Ted's stupid architecture class.
Gossip Girl's Voice Over: Hey there Upper East Siders. Who knew that gen ed requirements could lead to such juice! Looks like B and N are taking a class that has lead us to some interesting information about C. Their new Intro to Architecture Prof is often mentioned in a little site I've been watching regarding C's late daddy's other interests. Here's the link!
Barney then "accepts the challenge" to figure out who the mysterious B, N and C are.
In the Bass/Vanderwoodsen/Humphrey Apartment suite whatever
Serena is dressed in an evening gown first thing in the morning lounging on the couch of the apartment where she no longer lives. Someone is making waffles, obviously. She quips to Lily who is drinking a cup of coffee about how pathetic it is the Gossip Girl is still harping about Bart Bass almost three years after his death. Lily looks worried and asks what it says.
Serena: Oh something about his other interests and how it relates to Nate and Blair's new intro to architecture professor or something. Lily: Do you know this professor? Serena: Just that he's in his early thirties and Blair says that he thinks he's really funny, oh and he's dating that woman who just divorced The Captain, Zoey. Lily: Oh no, I wouldn't have thought... Serena: Mom, what's wrong? Lily: I don't, you can't tell Charles, Serena, but well, before he met Charles's mother, Bart had another son...
One of the things that I've been noticing a lot lately are the stock characters that populate me favorite TV shows. So I've assembled some of my favorite sets here.
*NOTE* I decided to only go with shows that are currently on the air. If I wanted to fish back into the cancellation zone, this list would be far too epically long.
Andy Dwyer (Parks and Recreation), Finn Hudson (Glee), and Marshall Erickson (How I Met Your Mother) These three have truly been cut from the same midwestern doofus cloth. Sure, Marshall has risen above the other two, after all he's a top corporate lawyer in New York. And while Finn is still in high school, let's be honest, he's probably not going to get past mid level insurance agent. And Andy is a shoe shine boy at a tiny city hall. But there's something that all three of them have in common, they're adorable, funny, and unfailingly sweet. OK, Finn not so much lately, what with the whole stealing Quinn from Sam thing, but generally, super sweet.
Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl), Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother), and Ari Gold (Entourage) Where to begin? The "I am so above you attitude?" Check. The catch phrases? "Let's Hug it Out Bitch?" "Legen...wait for it..." "I'm Chuck Bass!" "DARY!" Check. The deep seeded insecurity that creates the bravado that masks a heart of gold? Check and check! Honestly, this one is what got me thinking about these connections, when my friend Crystan proposed the theory that Bart Bass was Barney's father, and that there should be an epic cross over between GG and HIMYM. (Other storylines include a Serena/Ted hookup, because he reminds her of Dan, but maybe someday I'll outline the entire plot in a post!) Ari comes in for two reasons, like Chuck he is a ruthless business man, and like Barney, he's a pig, but oblivious to it, and therefore still kind of lovable. Also, the suits. Which are really important. Rebecca Logan (Greek) and Alice Verdura (Hellcats)
These two are quite literally the exact same character. They even look the same. They manipulate their respective systems to stay on top. (Bex the Cyprus Rhodes Greek system and Alice the Hellcats) But when it comes down to it, Rebecca would do anything for ZBZ and Alice would do anything for the squad. That's why we don't want them to go away. That's also why Santana Lopez (Glee) wasn't included on this list. Because as much as I love her, she'd probably sell New Directions down the river if they got too much on her bad side.
Mac (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) and Brendan (My Boys)
Aside from the looks again, these two have a few other key characteristics in common. An affinity for tee shirts, they both own bars, they both get caught up in oh so many hijinks. Plus they both have strong sexual tension with their best friend/roommate. Of course it's slightly less dysfunctional in Brendan's case, mostly because PJ is not a sociopath and Dennis is.
Andy Bernard (The Office) and Rajesh Kuthrapali (The Big Bang Theory)
Both men add an element of innocence and happiness to their respective groups. Both are socially awkward and unaware and both belong to distinct social groups. (Geek and Prep) Both are probably my favorite part of both of their shows.
Brooke Davis (One Tree Hill), Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl) and Rachel Berry (Glee) Can't win for trying these girls. Although Brooke finally got married and Rachel finally realized that she needs to focus on her career and well, OK I stopped paying attention to Gossip Girl because it got terrible, but I'm sure Blair will get it together. Last I watched she had just started Columbia. Also, Rachel will never ever be happy until she realizes that she and Puck need to get together unless she ends up with Jesse St. James. Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory) and Commander Steve McGarret (Hawaii Five-O)
At first sight, maybe not. But then when you think about it, they're both socially awkward, incredibly good at their jobs and dependent on a group of people who are less effecient than them to do their jobs. Which of course leads right into:
Leonard Hoffsteader (The Big Bang Theory) and Danny "Danno" Williams (Hawaii Five-O)
They spend most of their time correcting their brilliant counterpart, in the snarkyest way possible and dedicated to a pretty blond girl. Sure, Leonard it's his ex girlfriend Penny, and Danno it's his daughter Grace, but the idea is the same.
And thank God for it! I missed it so very much. Last night's return from what felt like the longest hiatus ever (Although Glee's is longer and just as frustrating!) was in the tip top shape, although no Erik, so that kind of sucked.
First of all, I was doing Nerena happy dances the whole time. They're a couple! And if this episode was any kind of indicator, they are doing it right! Yes, you know what a Nate and Serena couple-ness should look like. She has to say "I've changed" over and over again, although her behavior continually shows that she hasn't at all. He looks bewildered and brooding. And WE LOVE IT!
Chuck and Blair have a storyline! Or, Chuck does, he's looking for his mother. Who was supposed to be dead. But who cares because CHUCK AND BLAIR HAVE STUFF TO DO! There is spying to happen and intrigue and...it's going to be good.
Jenny and the drug dealer progressed. Don't care...
And I've figured something out. Gossip Girl will not allow for more than two happy couples at once. So right now, we have Chuck and Blair and Nate and Serena. Which means that Lily and Rufus are going to have trouble.
So, last night on Gossip Girl Nate and Serena almost got together, and then she hooked up with his married cousin instead.
Serena is a big big whore.
And the Gossip Girl writers are cruel to me.
In other news, the NYU kids did a quasi-ironic cabaret musical of Snow White set to the music of Lady Ga-Ga. Which is the single most realistic thing Gossip Girl has ever done!
Plus now Dan is in love with Vanessa and she's crushing on a gay guy. (We don't know that he's gay, but I think it's a safe bet)
I'm sad to see Hilary go, because I love her, but I was sick of Olivia.
Jenny's new drug dealer boyfriend is going to be amazing, especially once Erik gets a hold of it. But I am not a fan of this new Jenny/Chuck dynamic, because I am very afraid of where they'll take them. Blair and Chuck need to stay together so that there can be a fabulous series finale Blair/Chuck wedding.
OK! First of all I am soo sorry for my lack of posting in the past few weeks (midterm time, ick!) But this week's Gossip Girl got me off of my proverbial ass and back to being who I am. That is a person who not only reports on but over analyzes pop culture. So I am once again bringing a format change around, to accommodate my school schedule and what I really want to be doing. More analysis less summary! I'm an English major people, this is what I do.
So, how does Gossip Girl fit into this? This week's episode was all about finding oneself. And Tyra being crazy.
First of all I love that Serena's quest to find herself led her to become a PR girl. This is the perfect job for Serena, not being a full blown publicist mind you, because she's way too self centered. But I could totally see her ending up in event planning, you know becoming one of those girls like in that Lauren Weisberger book Everyone Worth Knowing who just goes to clubs to scout locations for celebrity parties. Serena would be great at that.
Nate trying to explain who Olivia Burke (Hilary Duff) is to Dan reminded me of the time my friend Chris didn't know who Spiedi were. But Dan often reminds me of Chris. Also they did it! Nate had a personality. He played a playful silly trick on Dan, by not telling him who Olivia was tee hee! Chase Crawford actually laughed playfully on camera with the same subtlety as say an Ashton Kutcher. Not that I'd compare Nate to Kelso...except for the man slut-ness, and the bossy brunette ex girlfriend who left him for his way hotter and more competent bestie...OK, so maybe I would compare Nate to Kelso. And Dan is TOTALLY Eric. Chuck gets to be Hyde. Carter can be that annoying guy they brought in when Topher and Ashton left the show. I've already established that Blair is Jackie, and Serena can be Donna, except not as cool and whines a lot more. Jenny and Eric combined get Fez. OK, I'm done with that game.
Lilly was BACK! Rufus did a Lilly impression. I can't even begin to analyze, I was simply overjoyed.
Blair's storyline criss crossed with Jenny and Eric's, which was a blessing. Jenny got to Constance on the first day ready to abolish high school hierarchy. It didn't work because the new mean girls (sporting leather jackets, ruffles on their uniform skirts an too much eye makeup) reported this news to Blair and she horrified headed right uptown to fix it. Chuck tried to tell her she was being delusional and eventually gave her what was supposed to be an inspirational speech but mostly just reminded her that he is awesome! Plus he reminded Jenny that two years ago, she wanted to be queen and that girl should totally start ruling at Constance. Then Blair found some minions at NYU. The new minions, both Jenny's and Blair's are adequate but I miss Nellie Yuki. Not Hazel though. Oh right and during all of this, Eric got to be snarky, so wonderful and gay and snarky. I was pleased.
Oh right, and Chuck sending Blair her old Constance uniform with a note saying to wear it that night. HILARIOUS.
Now, I'll move on the this whole idea of Tyra and Hilary's movie. (Or should I say Ursula and Olivia's) Three Words: Hilary's French Accent. It was worse than her Italian accent at the end of The Lizzie McGuire Movie. I shouldn't say that. It was actually the same accent. But damn, she did look cute in a beret, and Georgina in the scenes for next weeks episode called her "The Whore" which was just perfect, because oh yeah, you don't cheat on crazy with a cutie teen idol. Crazy will KILL you.
We'll start with the clothes. Is Blair really wearing a suit to Freshman orientation? I'm convinced the stylists follow my friend Emma around for Serena's clothes.
The NYU story line was great. Really great. Dan and Vanessa are just about as pretentious as all of the people I know who go to NYU. I love my friends who go there, don't get me wrong, but they all started their freshman years SUPER self important. Dan getting invited to a "writer's group" when buying his first college cup of coffee, haha, Dan would sooo run a lit mag. Blair saying that "Riverdale doesn't count" as being from New York made my Bronx descended heart break and my Jersey Girl soul cheer, because we get annoyed when boro people think they're better than us. I think that Georgina and Blair as roomies is not going to work out and she's going to end up rooming with Vanessa, who is down the hall. Vanessa is taking Women in Lit...a class I took Sophomore year of high school. Georgina said she "straightened out her meds" to get Dan's hipster haircut is starting to bug me after only two episodes. This could be a problem. Blair trying to throw a theme party in her dorm common room. It's so sad. Also Georgina might be a sociopath. And I LOVE her. She threw her own party after but poor Blair had to ask Dan to take her to Georgina's party. Then he took away her headband. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! People asking her if everyone in high school were jealous of Dan for being "such a great writer." Her respsonse, "Dan's a writer?" Was perfect. I love Dan socially sponsoring Blair so that she doesn't become what he was in high school. Then Blair inviting the Jesus camp people to Georgina's roof party was pure Blair-bitch perfection. Although it did screw Dan over and make him look like an idiot. But this is going to be a war worth remembering. But Dan taking her on, is perfect! But why does Blair need college friends? I mean, she's practically married to a boy billionaire! I'm just saying. Plus, Dan and Georgina as a couple is going to be epic.
The Serena and Chuck storyline was pretty strong too. Serena's not going to Brown. BIIG shock there. Chuck called his apartment "The Bass-cave." I love him so much. Chuck and Serena are totally going to run a nightclub together. Chuck lecturing Serena about her blowing his deal and he calls her a train wreck. When Chuck Bass disapproves of your life direction, you know that something's wrong. Dan made Serena frozen waffles. Then Rufus made them for Chuck. What is it with the Humphrey men and waffles? Then Rufus made a speech about not upsetting Lily, and Serena making mistakes. And then Serena declared she's not going to Brown just out of spite and called Carter. Serena and Carter crashing Chuck's business meeting was classic, plus I'm kind of digging Chuck being the disapproving sibling, plus I always love when we see that he seems a-moral but he really deeply cares about Serena, Blair and Nate. No one else, but those three, he definitely does. I'm not sure how I feel about Carter being all genuine freaked me out. And I'm glad that Rufus and Serena are bonding. It's sweet or something. Serena taking a gap year is a brilliant plot device. Carter and Serena as a real couple is going to be interesting.
Nate and his pretty new girlfriend holes up in her apartment and decided to be a real couple. It was sweet and we saw a lot of shirtless Nate.
So Gossip Girl kicked off it's 3rd season (3rd! Can you believe it's been 3 glorious years?) tonight in style.
The Humphreys and Erik have been camped out in the Hamptons all summer while Lilly and Cece deal with Cece's cancer treatments. Erik and Jenny have been keeping Serena's Euro hijinks a secret from Rufus and Dan. That is until she comes home and the paparazzi are following her everywhere and they figure it out. Also, apparently she hooked up with Carter, or something, until she found her father and he didn't want to see her. She's doing the publicity stunts to get his attention. Once again, I love the way they make Serena completely unoriginal.
Blair and Chuck are playing sex games. Really, I can't say more about it. It was beautiful. Also, she wore a gorgeous Daisy-buchanan-esque dress when they went to a polo match.
Vanessa got mad at Dan for something stupid. We hate her, she hooked up with Rufus and Lilly's son who they still think is dead.
Nate is getting involved with his Grandfather's political rivals daughter, Bree. We've got some GG star crossed lovers. Plus, she's played by Sarah from Reba so that's awesome, and I think Chase Crawford almost did some acting for a minute there.
The season looks good, although I have some criticism:
No Jonathan
No Georgina
No Eleanor
No Cyrus
No Darota
Also, Vanessa getting a non in crowd boyfriend means independent Vanessa storylines, blech.
So, there you go. What did you guys think of the episode?
I just got through watching GG season 2 on DVD, and there are a few things that I'm just dying to see happen in season 3:
1. Jenny, Eric, Jonathan and Co ROCKING at Constance/St. Jude. Seriously, they've set up this trio to absolutely rule in a way the older kids didn't get to during their upperclass years in HS. Jenny is queen, and Eric remains my favorite underused GG character.
2. Blair/Chuck relationship drama. The will they or won't they drama is over, and beautiful though it was, I can't wait to see what happens with these two as Manhattan's number 1 couple. I'm guessing lots and lots of evil.
3. NATE AND SERENA But I think you guys knew that
4. Dan/Georgina hookup. Come on, you want it too. It's so perverse and wrong and PERFECT! It can be like Blair and Chuck Part II. But without all of the pastels.
5. Less Vanessa, more Eric.
6. Lily, Rufus, Eleanor and Cyrus having a more pronounced presence on the show. The way Kirsten, Sandy and Julie used to on The OC.
7. IT GIRL CHARACTERS! Seriously, Jenny as Queen is ripe for some Jenny v Tinsley action.
8. Uh, Nate, personality? Maybe? No? Yes? Also dancing. PLEASE PLEASE have him dance!
9. More Carter...sure he's just Diet Chuck, but there is so much that can be done with the character, he could become a more permanent presence a la Georgina.
10. BLAIR, BLAIR and more BLAIR!
What about you all? Anything you specifically want to see this season on GG?
I wrote a lot about it when it aired, but I'm still getting over the Fringe season finale, and Olivia ending up in the alternate universe, with Leonard Nimoy and in the Twin Towers. It was so chilling and well done.
4. Lost: The Incident
There were so many moments to pick from in this episode, but I have to say the winner came when Ben stabbed Jacob and we all realized that Jacob and that guy he was talking to on the beach before were actually playing a big fat game of Highlander, and that Evil Locke (or Locke 2, as my brother calls him) is the guy on the beach. It was pretty sweet.
3. Dollhouse: Epitaph One
When Echo beat the living shit out of Alpha was an up point, but the real moment of truth came when Ballard got to choose one doll to set free and instead of Echo, he chose Melly. Pretty nuts, right?
2. How I Met Your Mother: The Leap
Barney told Robin he loved her, and she admitted she had feelings for him, and they made out! I don't know what else is going to happen with that relationship, but I think it's going to be good! I was super excited.
1. Gossip Girl: The Goodbye Gossip Girl
Like any of you expected me to pick something else! When Blair walked up to her apartment building, and Chuck was standing there, holding all of her favorite things from Europe. He told her he loved her, over and over and over again. I nearly cried. It was perfect.
So there they are, my favorite moments from this years crop of season finales.
Monday, the most crowded night on TV. We'll just dive right in!
So, last night's Gossip Girl was the intended backdoor pilot for the spin off about Lily growing up in LA, the spin off plans have been canceled, and I'm pretty grateful now, after seeing it.
As much as I love Brittany Snow, she was completely ineffective as Lily. She was either just doing an impression of Kelly Rutherford, or being Meg Pryor but in The 80s in LA. The rest of the cast was OK, although we did meet Serena's dad, who looked like the smarmy blond guy in a teen comedy but sleazier and was a music video director? (EW) and it was probably the biggest let down ever. However Owen, obviously meant to be Lily's love interest until Rufus came around was pretty good. He was equal parts all of the GG boys, plus a little bit of And the fact that the episode ended with Young Lily staring out a bus window the same way Serena did the train window coming into Grand Central in the pilot was fantastic.
The B-Story of the episode was much better. St Jude/Constance prom, where Chuck made sure that Blair got her perfect prom night...behind the scenes, and Blair and Nate broke up, realizing that their relationship, while defining high school to them, didn't have a future. Serena and Dan went to prom together and were adorable and fun. I like them as friends, like a lot. Oh and the Blair drones looked really ridiculous in their prom dresses.
OTH was cute, with Lucas and Peyton's wedding, but the whole Lucas and Peyton get this close to happiness and then it gets torn away thing is getting SUPER old. And as much as I love Julian and Mia as characters, I really want Brooke and Chase to get back together. I love them as a couple. And I really like Skills's new girlfriend. I love that they've given him such a clear type.
Castle also upped the cuteness, with Alexis going to the prom and having her first kiss. I love the character of Alexis Castle. Like a lot. Anyway, the mystery was about a plastic surgeon murdered by the mob, basically it amounted to Castle and Beckett flirting a lot (I know shocking!)
Greek: Which I finally got caught up on...I'm really enjoying the direction this season is going, with the focus much more on the group dynamics of the houses than on the individual characters, especially on KT where we're getting more Beaver, Wade and Ben Bennet action than ever. And I like Jesse McCartney's character quite a bit. The Evan Cappie conflict is better than its been in a while, because without Casey between them, they're starting to see there's not much of a conflict. Including last night's episode where the stash of stolen goods from past KT regimes was found and decided to be return to their proper places. Evan was given the opportunity to have KT officialy disbanded and all its members expelled, and didn't take it. After all, there cannot be one without the other.
How I Met Your Mother was a substandard episode. It was funny, not particularly memorable. Even Sarah Chalke's return was kind of eh. I've never particularly liked Stella's character anyway.
The Big Bang Theory send the guys to the North Pole for the summer, with Penny and Leonard saying good bye. Leonard realizes that perhaps Penny missing him will further their relationship. Season 3 is about the right time for them to really give the relationship a go, so we'll see how that works out next year.
Season finales abound this week, both NBC and ABC have theirs. CBS and CW's are next week. And the summer seasons are at midpoint, plus the HBO season starts in a few weeks. TRUE BLOOD AND ENTOURAGE! YAYS!
Georgina talking about downloading Kirk Cameron movies during her Jesuslicious makeover, and then her turn back to herself.
Chuck letting Blair go so that she can be happy with Nate (we all know she won't be)
Recementing of Blair, Serena, Nate and Chuck as the core 4...sorry Dan, you're out.
Jenny explaining Twilight to Lilly.
Erik moment. We haven't had nearly enough Erik recently.
Preview for the backdoor pilot next week! Brittany in 80s garb is almost as fabulous as Brittany in 60s garb, plus NO DOUBT! This is going to be awesome
So tonight I got a super bonus excitement. Basically, I got 2 episodes of Gossip Girl.
The real thing was good. We got Lilly/Rufus action, but if you want my reactions check out my new twitter. (Yes, Katie, I folded!) It'll be good.
But then the second episode...came in my new favorite show EVER Castle.
Can I just say Nathan Fillion really is swoon worthy! And the girl's great too, I didn't realize that she was Hana from season one of Heroes (the really cool girl who could access the internet with her brain.) Anyway, this episode was about Uptown private school kids and their excess. Some little Chuck Bass wannabe, orchestrated another kid's murder. Castle figured it out. And then I wished he would make love to me.
Did I say that out loud?
Oh right, and my boy (James Vanderbeek) was totally on his game tonight on OTH...He even gave a Dawson speech as his swan song. And his final parting, telling Lucas and Julian that he shot a sunset...the only frame of Ravens that made it. It was nice, his speech was sort of like "Things Dawson learned." He stressed a lot about not brooding over the speed bumps. "Sometimes the beauty is in the attempt." Wise words Monsieur Leery...wise words.
I'll write about my night tomorrow, probably. But today, you knew it was coming...
GOSSIP GIRL!
Thank God it was back and wonderful last night...they resolved both the stupid Chuch secret society storyline and the stupid Dan has sex with the teacher story line. It's over and thank GOD! Both of those story lines were awful.
Instead we focused on the Constance/St. Jude's senior production of Age of Innocence. I know, the GG kids doing Edith Warton, it's just too too appropriate. This was basically an excuse to put Nelli Yuki in a fat suit and Blair in a corset, I'm convinced.
It punctuated the story well. And Vanessa was around (when isn't she? GRR) filming a documentary about the play and making Nate uncomfortable.
Chuck was going to help his mysterious secret society girl out, until Carter Baison did it first. Then it turned out she was just using both of them for their money. She told Chuck "You have a good heart" give it to someone who cares...We all know who that is.
But see, Blair's chance at Yale was destroyed by five year old teacher lady who was sleeping with Dan!! And she sent out a blast on Gossip Girl about Marcus, and the whole doing it with his step mom thing, which Blair blames Serena for. And then there was one about how Serena only got into Yale for publicity, which Serena blamed Blair for. They found out it was teacher and forgave each other. Well, Serena forgave Blair drank a huge ass martini and moped about how this was Karma...ah Blair, always with the drama.
Chuck went over to Blair's apartment to tell her he loved her, much to our glee (and Darota's!) but Blair wasn't home she was drinking giant martini in a bar somewhere. And who showed up at said bar and starts hitting on Blair....Carter Baison! Poor Chuck, the love of his life is hooking up with his nemisis...next week looks damn juicy though. Nate's uber rich grandpa rolls into town, Chuck and Carter throw down, and uh Serena is super duper pretty.
So there is a rather fantastic rumor flying around the internet. We all know about the upcoming Gossip Girl spinoff centered around Lilly and her teen years in LA (If you didn't know, now you do) But the latest rumor is that Young Lilly will be played by Brittany Snow.
I've made it no secret that the Lilly/Rufus subplot is my second favorite part of Gossip Girl (Chuck/Blair obviously being the first) and I adore Kelly Rutherford. And I absolutely love Brittany! American Dreams is one of my all time favorite shows.
Although, creepy factor! She did hook up with Penn Badgely in John Tucker Must Die...I'm just saying.
Of course this means that I'm secretly going to be rooting for Heroes to be canceled so that Milo can show up and play young Rufus.
Come on, you know you want to see what would happen. Obviously this fight wouldn't be physical until the very end, this would be about conniving and backstabbing and obviously fabulous outfits and hissy fits. Let's look at their strong points.
Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl):
Signature: Headbands. We all know about Blair's flair for keeping her fantastic raven locks off her face with those wonderful little satin bands. It's gotten to the point that in mid catfight Serena pulled one off. I mean, it's all about the headbands.
Greatest Victory: Her outing of Jenny Humprhey/Erik Vanderwoodsen's boyfriend was unbelievably played. Not only that it showcased her greatest asset as well.
Greatest Asset: Blind Loyalty. Blair will do anything to help her friends. Even if it means breaking her own heart, like when she exposed the secret affair between her boyfriend and his step mother to save Nate from life as said step mother's gigolo. Or when she went all the way to Queens (GASP!) to expose Georgina's manipulation of Dan. Or even how she went to bat for Jenny against her mother, the list goes on and on. If only she and Chuck could get their act together, then she’d have it all!
Greatest Weakness: Overactive imagination and paranoia. Blair always thinks someone, usually Serena, is out to get her, although occasionally it’s Jenny. These paranoias get acted out in dreams of Audrey Hepburn movies. (Blair is always Audrey, until Serena is)
Ally: Chuck Bass. Blair's at her best when she's teamed up with her ex lover, who's at his best when he's wearing a paisley bow tie. And well, he’s Chuck Bass.
Sharpay Evans (High School Musical):
Signature: Bedazzling things. Her microphone, her cell phone, her clothes, her shoes, her brother.
Greatest Victory: Sharpay manipulated the director of the drama club to change the date of callbacks so that Troy and Gabriella would have to miss them. Of course Wildcat hijinks undid her manipulations, but in any universe other than one created by Disney Channel her plan would have been a success.
Greatest Asset: Ambition. Sharpay is a girl who knows what she wants and she goes for it. Whether it's the lead in the school show or Troy Bolton, she goes out full force, not caring who she hurts, even her own twin brother.
Greatest Weakness: The Wildcats. Sharpay just can't seem to get around their whole real friendships and true love and teamwork thing! Try though she might, she just can't do it.
Ally: Ryan Evans. Despite her poor treatment of him, Ryan continues to follow Sharpay's schemes. Oddly, like Chuck, he's at his best in strange outfits. Also, everybody loves a good jazz square.
Kelly Taylor (Beverly Hills 90210):
Signature: Love Triangles. Kelly has been at the center of some of the greatest love triangles in the history of television. The first, Kelly/Dylan/Brenda, the second Brandon/Kelly/Dylan. Both were clearly the best parts of 90210 besides whenever David would rap.
Greatest Victory: Dylan McKay. In the finale, she leaves Beverly Hills to be with him. We find out that later on they had a child together (Thanks to the now wildly popular 90210 spin off.) and upon Kelly’s request Brenda deleted Dylan from her cell phone contacts, but not without tears.
Greatest Asset: The bizarre ability to make every man she’s ever met fall madly in love with her. Whether it was David’s adorable but slightly creepy crush on her in the early years at West Beverly, Dylan’s decision to cheat on Brenda with her, Brandon’s inability to sell the engagement ring he bought for her, Steve’s six season long hang up on their relationship, that coke head guy Collin’s falling for her, that other guy who they bro
ught in to replace Brandon, Ryan Matthews on the new show, well, you get the point.
Greatest Weakness: Low Self Esteem. She lost her virginity in a date rape, and lived for years with an alcoholic and drug addicted ex model mother, these things screwed her up a little bit. It doesn’t help that someone graffitied “Kelly is a Slut” on that tile in the hallway (I wonder if it’s still there and the new West Bev kids will find it?) Kelly’s low self esteem leads her to do incredibly stupid things, like develop a cocaine addiction, or not marry Brandon.
Ally: Donna Martin. Donna always has her bffs back. Whether she’s protecting her from Brenda’s vicious bitch barbs or that creepy stalker girl, she’s the one you want or your side.
Clair Standish (The Breakfast Club):
Signature: Whining. Claire whines through the whole movie. To be fair they all do, but her a little more than the others. But we love Molly Ringwald, so we move past this.
Greatest Victory: Defending her virgin status. When Claire explodes and admits to the other Saturday detention kids that she’s a virgin and that’s she’s mostly OK with this, it’s really quite touching.
Greatest Asset: Uncontrollable hostility towards her rich divorced parents. Claire just wants to get back at them the way they use her to get back at each other.
Greatest Weakness: I mentioned the whining already, no?
Ally: John Bender. Claire’s got bad boy Bender on her side by the end of the movie, and we all know he’s not afraid to get a little crazy.
Paige Michelchuck (Degrassi: The Next Generation)
Signature: Backhanded Compliments. Hon, trust me, you do not want to get in the way when Paige lets these babies go. She “Sweetied” and “Hon’ed” her way to captain of the Spirit Squad, cutest couple, and even into the VIP party for Jay and Silent Bob Go Canadian, Eh?
Greatest Victory: Manny Santos’s public humiliation. At the prom in season 4 or 5, Manny shows up in the same dress as Paige and Paige arranges for her to be elected prom queen, she shows her up by somehow arranging for Manny’s dress to get ripped off in front of everyone. Hey, Manny needed a wake up call, you don’t mess with Paige!
Greatest Asset: Her ability to reinvent herself. Paige has been through a lot of stages. There was Young Paige, Post Rape Paige, Spinner’s Paige, Single Paige, Lesbian Paige, Devil Wears Prada Paige, you get the po
int. We’ve seen a lot of different sides to this girl, and she uses them all to her advantage.
Greatest Weakness: Quick Trigger Finger. Paige acts, thinks, and then regrets. Like when she goes into the bedroom to makeout with Dean and, well, he rapes her. Or when she crashes Spinner’s car into Dean’s, or when she started dating that teacher, or when she slept with Spinner while he was still with Darcy, or kicked Manny off the spirit squad or almost burned down her dorm room. I could keep going, but I think you get the point
Ally: For Paige I had trouble picking so she gets two. Gavin “Spinner” Mason and Alex Nunez. Spinner has always stood by his honey bee, and we all know he can throw and take a punch. And Alex, well, we all know about Alex and Paigey’s little same sex tryst, but they managed to stay besties even after their romance
went south, and Alex became a pothead stripper, and Paige started working in the exciting Toronto fashion scene.
Brooke Davis (One Tree Hill)
(Note: Though not the most Queen Bee-ish picture, its one of my favorites, and from my favorite episode.)
Signature: Fashion. Brooke’s a designer, and like Kelly Taylor and Donna Martin before her she’s wildly successful at it, even at a very young age. In the four years later seasons Brooke is rich, fabulous and ready for anything.
Greatest Victory: Clothes over Bros. In an attempt to take back her life and slutty image Brooke started her wildly successful clothing line and made it into a world wide brand. Of course this still didn’t bring her fulfillment. You get the feeling that if real world events (Chad and Sophia divorce and he marries a seventeen year old extra) hadn’t interfered she would have even had Lucas Scott to share it with.
Greatest Asset: Pigheadedness. Brooke wants what she wants, and she gets it. Lucas Scott, Clothes over Bros, Chase in Season 4, a baby (OK so she ended up with a teenager, but whatever).
Greatest Weakness: Pigheadedness. Brooke wants what she wants, and she doesn’t let go. It can be a problem.
Ally: Peyton Sawyer. True bffs, nothing can break up Peyton and Brooke, not even their mutual true love for a certain blond dreamy eyed, far too sensitive basketball hunk. Alright, they briefly didn’t speak over him, but they got past it, just like besties always should.
Regina George (Mean Girls)
Signature: Burn Book. Regina and her “army of skanks” keep clipping of pictures from the yearbook and write their bitchy little barbs. Poor Cady Heron didn’t even know what hit her. Regina ate her soul before she even knew what was happening.
Greatest Victory: Unlike many of the others listed here, Regina doesn’t actually win anything. She doesn’t die, so I guess there’s that. The closest thing to a victory I would say when she gets Aaron Samuels back just because Cady wanted him.
Greatest Asset: No scruples and a sadistic personality. Regina does things just to hurt people and doesn’t care how far she has to go to stay on top. She showed up at the Spring Fling in an effing spinal halo for craps sake. She made photo copies of the burn book and threw them around the school to throw her “friends” under the bus.
Greatest Weakness: Anger management issues. See her freak out when Cady doesn’t invite her to her party. This leads to the burn book reveal.
Ally: Again, I have to give her two, Gretchen Weiners and Karen Smith. The plastics are at their best when united. Because divided its just the end of Mean Girls. Where there's no drama. Where's the fun in that?
Bree Vandekanmp Hodge (Desperate Housewives):
Signature:Just to preface this, I thought long and hard as too which housewife would get the queen bee title. I went with Bree, I'll explain why later, but her signature is her home maker skills, which she has now made a career out of.
Greatest Victory: Her cookbook, which is a best seller. Bree has made her life something truly remarkable and totally taken back her ice queen perfection obsessed image. Good for her!
Greatest Asset: Lack of emotional attachment to anything. Bree can distance herself emotionally from most situations, which absolutely plays to her advantage.
Greatest Weakness: Alcoholism. Bree is a full blown alcoholic, and she trusts very few people with this secret. Especially her relapse which we learned about in the beginning of season 4.
Ally: Katherine Mayfair. Katherine is Bree's best friend and business partner and the pair make a great team. They butt heads quite a bit, but they almost always work it out. And Katherine was the only person who knew about her relapse, until she confessed it to her husband Orson.
Galinda Upland (Wicked):
Signature: Galinda lingo. We all wishafy that we could talkerate like a Galindafied drone without sounding like an ass. Or an Ass? We do have to make the distinction, since we're in Wicked land!
Greatest Victory: (Spoiler Alert!) Expelling the Wizard from Oz and sending Madame Morrible to prison taking revenge and control after Elphaba's death. Also Elphaba's makeover. But only because "Popular" is still my favorite song to perform at random caberet nights.
Greatest Weakness: Uh, none. Cause she's awesome! No, actually, she's a bit full of herself and just a smidge weak willed, oh right and shallow. But she's genuinely self absorbed and deeply shallow (Yes, I know its Fiyero's line about himself but it fits her.)
Ally: Elphie of course! Galinda and Elphaba are the best example of girl best friends in recent memory. You know, how they love each other, but still fight like crazy, but when it comes down to it, they have each other's backs. And plus she's got magic on her side! Magic!
So, those are the contenders, I’d love comments, and votes (I have open commenting, so if you’re on the site, you can comment, you don't need to be a blogspot member!) and I’ll declare a winner in a later post!
I'm just going to dive right into last night...there's really no need for set up
GG: Nellie Yuki's Cat eye glasses. Honestly? Nellie gets more and more fabulous with each appearance she also gets easier and easier to hate, and ratting on Blair in this episode was the final straw. But the cat eye glasses were too too cute. Especially in an episode where the leads were in their uniforms too much to do much fashion wise. Not that we don't love Blair in her uniform. Because well, don't we just love Blair all the time? Dan and Serena are over! FINALLY! I'm sorry, I'm all for happily ever after, I am, but I can't stand Dan. He's everything that annoyed me about my guy friends in high school, without all the stuff I loved about them. Also, Dan and Serena being broken up means that Serena can get together with Nate! HAHA! You thought I forgot, I did not. Until the show is over and beyond I will be rooting for Nerena. And speaking of Nate...Nate and Vanessa being so cute you want to puke. Seriously, there is NO PLOT with those two, its just them being pretty and witty, Nate doesn't even get to brood? What's the point of having those beautiful blue eyes if he's not going to brood? Chuck was suddenly thrown into the plot of a Dan Brown novel? He wakes up in the morning with a strange tribal symbol he doesn't remember on his wrist. Where are we? Smallville Season 4? Then he becomes obsessed with some woman he made out with who it turns out is a nanny from Connecticut, who the secret society that Bart was a member of then kidnaps? What the HELL IS GOING ON? Also, this very stupid plot line further facilitated that Nate and Vanessa boring grossness. Convenient set up for everyone to go to fictional Columbia or NYU equivalents next season...or at least Blair and Dan. By hooking up with his teacher, or well Serena and Blair's teacher, Dan destroyed his Yale chances, and Blair's father told her, "I don't care where you go to college!" Well, I have of a feeling, as the formula goes that at least one person isn't going to go to college, and for a while it looked like Chuck but now I'm thinking its Dan. It's all about the cheekbones: BH 90210, Dylan skipped out, then on DC it was Pacey, I think its going to be Dan. Look:See what I mean? Moving on:
Heroes: Claire Bennett = Badass Mofo. Honestly? Standing up again Mama Petrelli and Nathan to save everyone else. No wonder she's the chosen one! Or is Peter the chosen one? Or is it Hiro? I don't know, they change that weekly. I think the whole "Chosen One" thing is not important to this story arc, though so we have time to go back and figure it out. Mohinder's accent changed again. OK, I get it Sendhil Rammamurthy is from Texas, he's not good at accents, whatever, pick one! Sometimes Mohinder is a high class British educated Indian guy, other times he sounds like the guy from The Simpsons. Its frustrating. Milo's growing his hair out, thank god! I'm not normally a fan of long greasy hair, but on Milo, mm, its just different. Nathan's the bad guy again. All is as it should be. Sylar's alive and out there...dun dun dunnnn...Oh right, and Hiro still doesn't have his powers back. Whatever. If this arc doesn't KICK ASS, I'm done. Heroes has become too time consuming and its not goood enough to be worth the effort anymore. Its very very boring. Milo, you never should have left Gilmore.
OTH: Lucas=The New Dawson. He's all about feelings and hugs with the "Unkindness" movie. Adam=everything we all wanted to say to Dawson while he was making movies. And its really really funny. On a slightly less happy note, Hayley may be losing her job...and Dan might start dating Jamie's teacher? What? I'm confused.
Trust Me: Never fallen into the TNT shows before, but Eric McCormack and Tom Cavanaugh? Will and Ed? Wait? What's that sound? Oh my God! Middle School Reenie? Are you crying? And are those tears of joy?! Of course they are! No, Middle School Reenie, I'm sorry, Vanessa Lengies from American Dreams isn't on the show...but its only been two episodes! Why don't you go listen to some SClub7 and wait around for her. No really? I'm enjoying this show. And mostly for McCormack and Cavanaugh, they're both actors with really interesting conflicting energies that make the show an interesting watch. Although I'm having trouble accepting Eric McCormack as a straight guy with a wife and kids...even though that's who he is in real life. CSD (Character Separation Difficulty) rears its ugly head again...this is the same reason why somewhere back in the recesses of my mind while I'm watching Fringe tonight I'll wonder why Peter doesn't have a hockey jersey on...
Anyway, that being said, Monday night TV is getting to be my favorite, I don't know what I'm going to do when DWTS gets back...I'll work it out.
Chuck doing coke with two hookers and Blair and the board of Bass Industries, which he just took control of, walking in on him. If his evil Uncle Jack weren't so, well, a young hot version of Caleb from The OC I would hate him even more. I am sad that they won't let Blair and Chuck be happy for even an episode, but the season is young.
The minions trying to destroy Serena and Dan and failing miserably. I am sad to see Nellie Yuki go over to the dark side, but it makes for good TV.
The mini minions returned, confronting Dan and Vanessa in a candy story and yelling Dan about screwing up his relationship with Serena and praising Vanessa for failing up. (Are you kidding me? Going after Dan Humphrey and getting Nate Archibald?)
Nate and Chuck bromance back on. Nate and Dan bromance back on. All is right at St. Jude's once again. Oh right, and Nate was actually in the episode, not doing anything interesting mind you, but he was there.
Jenny and Erik taking on their official duties as Teen Fag and Hag and doing the title proud. Jen and Jack and Marco and Ellie could not have done better with the bantering. Plus they're brother and sister...kinda sorta, so that rules. God knows no one at West Bev is stepping up, and for some reason there are no gay people in Tree Hill. Except that bisexual girl from season 2. But whatever, the space has been filled, and they're quickly becoming the best part of the show. You know, like Jen and Jack were. And Marco and Ellie.
And most important of all:
Lilly and Rufus TOTALLY DID IT! And they're together, and everyone's cool with it. As if this situation could get better? Serena's example of why it's not gross for her and Dan to be together still (It is, you know what should happen? They should break up and Serena should get together with Nate. They're my new Lorelai and Christopher, I will continue to hope against hope that this happens) was Clueless! That's right. And well, Penn is kinda Paul Rudd-ish, although nowhere near as cute!
Anyway, I love that GG is back. I really do. I don't know what I would do without it!
Like any of you expected me to pick something else! When Blair walked up to her apartment building, and Chuck was standing there, holding all of her favorite things from Europe. He told her he loved her, over and over and over again. I nearly cried. It was perfect.
