New Season Awards

OK, so now that I've gotten most of the new seasony stuff whittled down, here are some of the things that I have to say about it, a few "awards" if you will. Not all of them are positive

Best Pilot:

New Girl. Hands down, this show gets the award for best from moment one. I was a little skeptical, because it seemed a little too similar to a certain ignored TBS sitcom with the EXACT SAME PREMISE. (RIP My Boys...I will continue to sing your praises for all time.) But Zooey Deschanel is adorable, the guys are hilarious and really, can any of us really deny that we've been running around for the past two weeks singing, "Who's that girl? It's Jess!"

Best Comeback:

Glee. Let's face the facts, last season Glee was, umm, let's say it was distracted. Distracted is a good word. But it seems to be on it's way back. Who knew that all it would take was a breath of fresh air from Blaine, the return of Shelby Corcoran, and a new villain in the form of a tone deaf Vanessa Lengies, her character is named Sugar, but I'm just gonna call her Roxanne. Also, shifting the musical focus from top 40 regurgitation to interesting renditions of showtunes, classic pop/rock and standards. There have only been two episodes and we've already gotten six Broadway belts (Ding dong the witch is Dead, Hey Big Spender, Anything Goes/Anything You Can Do I can do Better, Somewhere and Something's Coming.)

Biggest Surprise
Ringer. I thought that Ringer was going to be awful. It isn't it's kind of wonderful in that guilty pleasure CW kind of way. Plus it's Buffy and Richard Alpert (Buffy and Lost related CSD is one crazy combo, and guarantees all kind of out there plot twists.)

Biggest Pilot Let Down
Free Agents. I wanted to love Free Agents. I really did. It has a phenomenal cast. I don't love Free Agents. I don't know how I feel about it. That kind of fits in really well with the spirit of that show though.

Biggest Post Pilot Let Down
Pan Am. I loved the pilot for Pan Am...I loved the concept. Mad Men, on a plane, with spies. But episode 2 was a mess. And Christina Ricci needs more attention. Her character is awesome. She's like, Joan Hollaway...but on a plane.

Best Comeback (Showrunner Edition)
Josh Schwartz. OK, so Chuck had a little bit to do with restoring my faith in Josh, but Hart of Dixie pushed it right on over the edge. If the adorable Rachel Bilson vehicle, and the spy comedy of all spy comedies have been where his focus have been, it explains so much of why Gossip Girl has been so sloppy and awful the past few seasons. And so Josh, I forgive you for Blair/Dan and Jenny/Chuck, so long as Zoe Hart sticks around.

So, that's what's happening in my head right now. What about some other thoughts on the new season?

What I'm loving so far

So, the new TV season is off and running, even if all the racers aren't in yet. Here's some of the stuff I like so far...

1. The new Sheriff on Sons of Anarchy and his no nonsense dealings with the club, and that dick US Attorney.
   
2. The return of Lea Michelle's bangs.
3. Two Broke Girls. Everything about Two Broke Girls. (Yes, even the horse and the bad puns.)
   
4. The cast of Up All Night, even if the pilot didn't totally rock.
5. That Dharma and Greg toured Charlie Harper's house on the Two and A Half Men premier.
6. Quinn Fabray's Gwen Stefani hair.
7. The impending domination of Fox and then the planet by the Deschanel sisters.
8. The impending domination of all of TV and then the less quirky parts of the planet by the cast of Buffy.
9. Speaking of Buffy, Ringer doesn't suck. So that's kind of cool.
10. Terry O'Quinn's character on Hawaii Five-0 is basically John Locke.
11. This season Robin is going to be chasing Barney, not the other way around.
12. Oh and Victoria is back on How I Met Your Mother. VICTORIA people! This going to be classic Mosby.
13. Finding out that Juice is half black and that the reason why he lied about it is the Sons don't accept black members. (Also, Juice gets a storyline, this almost makes up for the loss of Half-Sack...almost)
    
14. New Directions is putting on West Side Story.
15. Beercules.
16. Vanessa Lengies on Glee. (She can dance to one of Quinn's Donna Summer songs)

So, that's the beginning. After the rest of the week (through Sunday) I'll make another list. Excluding the shows I listed here.

See SAMCRO Ride

I've decided to recap Sons of Anarchy's season premier last night in the same style as See Spot Run.

OK, not really, but that's what I kept thinking about...

You know:

This is Jax.



See Jax declare that he's leaving SAMCRO?

Declare Jax, declare!

This is Tara.


See Tara make terrible decisions regarding her relationship with Jax?

Make terrible decisions Tara, make terrible decisions!

OK...so it was more complicated than that. In addition to that Opie and Lyla got married and Opie said he couldn't wait to "add to their family" and then Lyla made a guilty face because you know, she had the abortion last season.

We met Tara and Jax's son, Thomas, and we saw Able toddle around and cause some kind of problem.

But really? Can we spend a whole fourth season with Jax brooding and waffling about leaving the club and Tara nagging him about it until Gemma does something to totally manipulate one or both of them so that they have to stay in Charming?

Manipulate Gemma, manipulate!

Reasons Why You Should Watch Hawaii 5-0 Next Season

It doesn't take a whole lot of outlining for this one. But I will say that 5-0 is one of the best new shows of the year. (I'm going to do a run down of my, and my family and friends favorites sometime in the next two weeks.) So I'm just going to jump into it.

1. Because Scott Caan is one of the funniest men to ever live. And possibly the most underrated of Ocean's 11.

2. Because they employ every Asian actor ever. Seriously. If you've seen someone Asian in a movie or on TV, chances are they have been or will be on 5-0. It's kind of cool for the diversity of TV.

3. James Marsters is the bad guy. He doesn't have the bleached hair, but it's still awesome.

4. For those so inclined, Grace Park.



5. For those otherwise inclined, Alex O'Loughlin


6. In case you missed Lost too much this year, Daniel Dae Kim runs around the jungle sometimes.

7. Larissa Oleynek seems to be sticking around. Which means that Alex Mack is taking down bad guys again. If you were born between 1984 and 1991, you know how seriously awesome that is.

8. Epic guest stars, including Dane Cook, Diddy, Nick Lachey and that girl he's marrying.

9. Jean Smart plays the governor.

10.
11. So far both Billy Walsh and Mrs. Ari have been murderers. I'm waiting for Sloane, Lloyd (being Asian he'll probably get in on the act) and any other recurring but important Entourage characters to show up.

12. More explosions per hour than a Michael Bay movie, and way better writing.

13. The guy that taught Jason Segel how to kill a pig in Sarah Marshall is a recurring guest star. (Seriously, EVERY ASIAN ACTOR EVER!)

Watch the show.

The Ultimate Burn

I have this strange feeling that we're all being Punk'd at the moment.

CBS, Warner Brothers and Chuck Lorre have announced that Ashton Kutcher is going to be replacing Charlie Sheen on 2 1/2 Men. I don't know how, no details have come out, but I have 3 theories:

1. It will be a Charmed-like scenario. Charlie will be killed off, or sent off or whatever, and we will find out that Alan and Charlie had a here-to-for unknown half brother, played by Ashton shows up. Much like Charlie he is a degenerate man boy.

2. Charlie's gone and to stay in the house Alan has to rent a room to Ashton. Much like Charlie he is a degenerate man boy.

3. The bizarrely large 2 1/2 Men audience tunes in that Monday night in the fall at 9:30 and we hear the theme music, you know "Men, men, men, men, manly men men..." and then we see Ashton standing in the living room and he looks into the camera and shouts. "Haha American Sitcom audience, you just got Punk'd!"

And then the audience cries like Justin Timberlake.

Classic