Everything in Life is Only for Now

I've talked a few times about my profound personal growth over the past year. And as a result of that growth, certain things have changed in my perception...Usually when that happens, at least as it relates to me and the pop culture that I enjoy, something that I previously loved, I realize that I don't, or something that I used to hate, I realize that I love. Rarely does this shift go from loving something to loving it even more.

But in the case of the musical Avenue Q, it definitely grew from love to well, absolute love.

I came across Avenue Q at first when I was 16, it opened on Broadway, won the Tony for Best New Musical, (Something I considered a grave injustice at the time, I full to the brim with Wicked love) and my parents took us kids to see it.

I found the show hilarious. If you don't know the premise, the idea was to create an "Adult Sesame Street," that is to use a mixture of puppets and real people to deal with difficult issues facing young adults, like lack of direction, romantic relationships, sexual identity, etc. The show features hilarious songs including, "It Sucks To Me," "The Internet is For Porn," "If You Were Gay," and "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist." It also has a few more contemplative pieces, like "There's a Fine, Fine Line," "What Do You Do With a BA in English?", and the finale, "For Now."

A few months ago I listened to the Avenue Q Original Cast Album again, and I was kind of amazed by a few things. All of a sudden, the stuff they were talking about wasn't just funny...it was real. It was exactly what I was going through. When Princeton muses that he "can't pay the bills yet, cuz I have no skills yet," I realized, dear God, when they hand me my diploma, that'll be me. Kate Monster reaches desperately for affection, only to realize there's more to love than that.

And especially the finale, "For Now," hits me differently now than it did then. At 16, the thought just made me sad. The friends, feelings and well, life, that was around me was going to fade? That somehow seemed, wrong, and terrible. Now though, the thought that every situation is only "for now" is comforting. Crappy entry level jobs, depressing poorly lit college apartments, the lonely single girl thing....this is all temporary. It will give way to a different stage of life. Who knows what that will be, that's not the point. As the song says, "Maybe you'll never find your purpose, lots of people don't..." but that doesn't mean that we're alone.