I am the Starlight...

"What's scary about Starlight Express isn't that Andrew Lloyd Weber wrote it. He is insane. We knew this. What's scary to think about is that there were men in suits in an office somewhere that gave him money to do it." - Allison Andresini, 2004-ish

Ollie: You do know that this is a singing play right? Because one time, Daddy went to go see a singing play and then everybody was on roller skates.
Gertie: Cool!
Ollie: Daddy didn't think so.
-Jersey Girl

"It's just like Joseph but on roller skates. And instead of characters from the Bible, they're all trains. But other than that, it's like exactly the same." - Mike Nayden, anytime he tries to explain it to people who don't know what it is beyond that sketch on Family Guy

"I had this dream, that instead of doing Annie Get Your Gun, Mike convinced us to do an outdoor version of Starlight Express...I'm not sure what that means." - Katie Wiegl, Summer 2009

"Well, I don't know if I can take a whole night of ABBA and it doesn't sound like that subject is appropriate for my 9 year old. This is Andrew Lloyd Weber! The kids liked Cats, they'll like this too." - Irene Nayden, Summer 1999, London, England, Justifying her decision to take her children to see Starlight Express instead of Mamma Mia! (Good Call Mom!)

So, my earlier post today, about Joseph got me thinking about what may be my ultimate guilty pleasure...the musical Starlight Express. If you're unfamiliar (most people are) it's a post Cats pre Phantom of The Opera Andrew Lloyd Weber musical about trains.

Yes, you heard me right. Trains. And all of the characters are on roller skates. Does it sound bizarre? That's because it is. It's also fantastic.

And when I say I love Starlight, I don't mean it in an ironic, it's so kitschy, isn't that funny kind of way.

See, it all started in the summer of 1999. My family took a trip to Ireland and drove around the country for two weeks in a van. Lots of stories there. We ended the trip with four days in London. I was 11, I was in a foreign country for the first time. I was naive. My parents decided to indulge their burgeoning theater geek children by taking them to see a show on The West End, London's answer to Broadway.

Everyone was talking about this revolutionary new show, that took the music of an already established band and built the musical around it. Apparently, this show was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Unfortunately the band it was built around was ABBA, and my parents believe that disco came from Satan. Plus it was about a girl with 3 possible father's and my mom thought it would be inappropriate. So that was out. (In the future, I would often grumble about how I didn't get to see Mammy Mia like four years before anyone in the US had even heard of it)

Instead they got tickets to some show that my dad saw in the 80s and remembered vaguely enjoying and that the concierge at our hotel assured them, "the children would enjoy."

And enjoy it we did. This show had everything! Singing, dancing, roller skates, laser lights, power ballads, spelled out curse words in a a country song, a flimsy plot about a train race, a rap song, a convoluted and illogical love story, jokes about Sylvester Stallone movies...I think you get the point.

And we continued to enjoy it for years. We bought the CD and listened to it over and over and over again. Then high school hit and we got realllllllyyy into theater, and it turned out that this show which we loved, was actually considered a joke. A big stinking turd of a joke. I had many conversations with people who tried to convince me to change my mind, and my response usually went something like this:

"But, but, but, roller skates! And lasers! And...OK, yes, the trains are stupid, but it's for kids! Who cares?"

OK, so before writing this post, I read the Wikipedia article for Starlight Express. Um, it's turns out it wasn't supposed to be for kids. The original plot was way darker, and totally weirder. And then it got edited and changed around and became family friendly. Also apparently, Electra, the electric train, (Nobody sprained any muscles naming these characters, Rusty is an old steam engine, Dinah a dining car etc.) is supposed to be bisexual. Which is what his first song "AC/DC" is about. My 11 year old brain did not process that.

Also, although Americans think that Starlight is a big turd, Europeans love it! It's like the longest running show in German history, and it ran for 7,000 performances or something on the West End. So there.

I did listen to the CD again before writing this too. And I still think a lot of the songs are really good. But yeah, most of it is pretty awful.

Plus when you're just listening, you can't see the lasers.

And almost 10 years later, when we went to go see Mamma Mia! my mom totally loved it.