DWTS/2

As usual, after the halfway point of Dancing With The Stars, I present my halfway analysis.

First, I definitely want to see a Hough vs Hough final...also Warren and Kym. Football players always do well, (Read, Emmit Smith, Jason Taylor) and I really love how good Warren Sapp is. As for Julianne and Derek, seriously, they should have been going head on in the finale that was Julianne's second win (JENNIE GARTH WAS ROBBED! Screw you Marie Osmond. Yes, I am still angry about a dismissal from Dancing With The Stars almost a year ago. You wanna mess?) Anyway, Brooke and Derek are unbelievably unstoppable, like Kristi and Mark last season, Apollo and Julianne two years ago kind of unstoppable, but if anyone's going to stop them it's that adorable Cody and Julianne...seriously, he's so so so so so cute. He's also 18...I'm 21, almost, I feel very cougary, as does Julianne, what with her being a whole 2 years older than him, haha. Anyway, this week, when they went head on in the jitterbug...AWESOME. And also so so so so so cute. Also, Cloris Leachman is funny and I love Young Frankenstein, but seriously, Grandma's gotta go, so does Maurice Greene, and Susan Lucci...and that leaves, oh um, Cody, Brooke, Warren and Lance. Oh Lance...

Here's the thing. Joey Fatone was soooo good. Like unbelievably good, like if he'd been up against anyone but Apollo and Julianne he would have won big time, but Lance...mmm, not so much with the good. And I figured out why. He was partnered all wrong. I mean, Lacey, she's cute, I guess, but they don't seem to vibe well. Someone with a hip hop dance background doesn't need a partner who's all about thinking outside the box. They need someone like, um, well Kym or Cheryl. Mostly because Kym and Cheryl are extremely traditional, but still fun. So I've concluded that it's so not Lance's fault that he sucks.

Anyway, here's how I see it going down: Final Four, as I just described...then Lance goes...Bye bye Lance! Finale show, Houghs and Kym. Cody lucked out because he did start slow, but being with Julianne, who has a built in fan base as well as being a part of Mileyworld gives him some extra juice. Seriously, as untouchable as the teen queens of our glory days were (Britney and Christina ruled the world, not to mention Mandy and Jessica) they had nothing on Miley. I'm actually afraid that someday I'm going to get a phone call that says, "Oh, by the way Miley Cyrus now owns you." I won't even be that surprised, actually I'll ask if now I can meet Dolly Parton.

Also Brooke Shields.

But back to the topic at hand. Like I've said before, I really want to see what Derek could do with a freestyle. He's such a remarkably creative choreographer, and with no limits, well, I think it will be amazing!

Also, I figured out why I love this show so much. Earlier this year my mom teased me and called me "A middle aged gay man." (She was teasing me for loving Cole Porter as much as I do.) So it's the middle aged gay man who loves this show so much. Think about it, old school celebrities, lots of sequins, muscley guys dancing around with their chests showing. I'm not usually into stereotypes, but I mean come on.