Um, OK...

Aright, here's the deal, I know I just posted but then Jenna gave me the most amazing thing to write about. Thank you Jenna!

Everything Good in the World

Alright so, if you're lazy and don't want to read it, it's an article from The Onion written by Emilio Estevez himself about D4...For those of you who don't know how I feel about D4...well, here's the summation, if Indiana Jones can go to South America and fight Aliens, if Rock can get back in the ring, if John McClane is fighting cyber terrorists, who's to say that the Ducks can't get back out on the ice?

But the highlights of this particular plea come as follows:

"But when you've got no money and no family and it's been three years since Hollywood offered you a role in a film, you've got to ask yourself, "Am I going to sit here on the couch all day and wallow in self-pity, or am I going to get out there and make D4: The Mighty Ducks on my own?""

Do it man! I'm serious, I'd go see it. I'd make my friends go see it. I know my brother and his friends would go see it! Actually I think most people our age would go see it. We have fond memories of the Ducks. We want MORE. We're a generation that was fed on sequels. We ate them up. We read all seven Harry Potters, we watched all the Rocky's in one weekend. We waited on line en masse to see the crapfest that were Episodes 1,2, and 3. This movie will make money. Have no fear.

"We all contemplate slitting our wrists with the blade of the ice skate we wore in the original Mighty Ducks movie, released in 1992 to warm reviews. I know I've been there. But we have to rise above all that and keep calling Josh Jackson until he returns one of our voicemails, keep trying to figure out how to do a special effect that makes it look like a really fast slap shot burned a hole through the net and set it on fire. Because if we don't do that, I ask you, how are we ever going to get work again?"

I am saddened by the idea that Josh wouldn't return Emilio's voicemails. It's also categorically untrue, I mean, we all know that Emilio is partially responsible for Josh's recent career resurgence. You guys remember how he was in Bobby? Yeah, last I checked that was the first thing he did since we all cried like a baby when he and Joey confessed their eternal love for each other in the kitchen of The Ice House at the repast of Jen's funeral. I'm just saying. Also, it's such a part of my childhood, that I forget that this movie was not well received. This is the perfect movie. And as much as I want to see D4 get made, I want it all, I need Josh. It would also be helpful if we got some of the others. Emilio feels the same way

"I didn't get to where I am in life by sitting back and not making Mighty Ducks movies. And I'm sure as heck not going to stop now. I've just got to type up these scripts, and do some funny jokes and some cool new characters like a guy who can shoot a puck backwards through his legs. Also I have to find a budget somewhere, because movies need budgets. Then it's just a matter of picking up the phone and calling the old gang. I'm sure they'd be up for another sequel. Guys like Fulton, Lester, Jesse. I wish I knew their real names."

Goldberg does all those commercials now, I bet he'd be up for a movie. Keenan's got name recognition, he's on SNL, he was in a Samuel L. Jackson movie, but he did the All That 10th Anniversary special, he remembers his roots. Portman was in Rent, and he was/is? engaged to Eden Espinosa, I bet he'd be up for it, maybe he could even sing. Like he has a band or something. Connie Moreau's on TV all the time, Fulton was in The Battle of Shaker Heights...you could get at least some of them to do it, they're still around. We all wish we knew their real names (OK, I do, some of them. But I'm a walking talking IMDB search...so I'm the wrong person to ask.)

That being said, D4's been a standing joke between me, my brother and our friend Alan for a very long time. We've always joked about how we were going to write a script for it and mail it to Emilio. Our proposed plot:

Charlie Conway did make it to the big time. While playing for The Anaheim Ducks (sadly they are no longer Mighty) he sustains a knee injury (see, see how we're bringing the old stories in?) that ends his hockey career. Despondent over this development, Charlie gets by by speaking at Pee Wee Hockey League Banquets about his time with the Ducks. There was a Disney movie made of their story a la Remember The Titans. He also drinks a lot. One day he gets caught drunk driving (See what we did again? ;-) ) and calls his old coach and current lawyer to get him out of it. Bombay does so by saying Charlie will complete community service...coaching a Pee Wee Hockey team. The team's rival team is coached by none other than Rick Riley, Charlie's nemesis from D3...or if we can't get him we make it one of the Hawks, who we just create. The team, a bunch of misfits who Charlie whips into shape by getting the old team together and showing the kids how great Teamwork is. Oh, also, he bonds especially with one of them, who happens to have a single mom, and they hook up (Him and the mom, not him and the kid). Basically a rehash of the original with Charlie in Bombay's place and Bombay in Hans's.

You think Emilio would be interested in our version?