CSD: Fantasy Edition

I just had a really upsetting bout of my Character Separation Disorder.

I've dove headfirst into George R.R. Martin's A Song Of Ice and Fire series over the past week, and last night and today finally finished out the first season of HBO's adaptation of the books, Game of Thrones.

After shutting off Thrones, I started flipping and found The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring on Starz.

I was horrified as I watched Ned Stark (Sean Bean) try to steal The Ring from Frodo. HORRIFIED! Of course, here Bean was not playing Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell, but Boromir of Gondor. And while Ned is you know, the man, and holds honor above everything, (except maybe the life of his teenage daughter...*sigh* Poor Sansa) Boromir is kind of a dick. But still ends up dead before the end of the first book. (Seriously, try playing a character who makes it.)

While the one thing that I've been assured is absolutely true in Martin's fantasy world is that no one is safe, I still find myself continually shocked when characters I love die.

Anyway, other ghosts of fantasy epics past who keep showing up in Westeros?

Osha, a Wildling (indigenous people) who befriends Bran Stark (the cutest little kid on the planet) is played by the same actress who played Nymphadora Tonks in Harry Potter. I do not want to see Osha die a horrible grisly Ice and Fire death, but at least I'll be prepped, having seen her do it before. (That sigh from before, for Poor Sansa, also applies to Poor Teddy Lupin).

It's also confusing to see Sarah Connor (or her TV version at least) running around ordering the death of direwolves and boinking her brother as she plays Queen Cersei. But, hey, at least she has a different hair color, such simple distractions make all the difference when you're suffering from CSD.

Game of Thrones in general is like begging me for a big ol' CSD attack, but I think I managed it pretty well.

I Open At The Close

There's a quote from Neil Gaiman that I've always loved, that I think pertains so perfectly to the way that the Harry Potter series has touched me, and so many other people in my generation, "I would not be the person I am without the authors who made me what I am -- the special ones, the wise ones, sometimes the ones who got there first. It's not irrelevant, those moments of connection, those places where fiction saves your life. It's the most important thing there is."

We were children, all of us when J.K. Rowling first took us away from our world and drew us into another one entirely. A world where pictures moved and spoke, where broomsticks flew, owls delivered letters, and a small, ignored boy could be the most special person to ever live.

That was over a decade ago. And a full decade ago we saw that world for the first time. When we met the visual interpretations of Harry, Ron, Hermione and all the rest of them.

And now it's over. I mean, it's never over, because as Mr. Gaiman said, we all carry The Wizarding World with us. All of it Quidditch and wandlore, and horcruxes and hallows.

Can you guess that I just got in from seeing the second part of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows? I'm having trouble processing the movie. One of the things that I've always loved about Harry Potter in general is how it borrowed from, well, everything that came before it. The films just as much, if not more so, than the books. And everything about this movie was carefully crafted and borrowed.

The clash of green and red light between Harry and Voldemort, as well as the glowing reappearance of Professor Dumbledore reminded me, in a clear and distinct manner of Star Wars, much as Snape and Narcissa Malfoy's redemption always reminded me of Darth Vader's decision to save his son and soul over his own life.

As Voldemort's forces storm Hogwarts, suddenly I thought of Middle Earth, and Sauron's allies marched towards the riders of Rohan.

But there were other strange parallels that only the pop culture inclined would notice. When Snape demands that the Hogwarts students not aid Harry, I could only think of Alan Rickman demanding that a henchman bring him the detonators. And I thought I could see the glee behind Maggie Smith's eyes as she cast her final spells at Hogwarts.

But the greatest victim of my crowded mind, was The Dark Lord himself. Voldemort is played, after all, by Ralph Fiennes, who I'm pretty sure has never played a good character in his entire career. Or at the very least gave it up some times in the early nineties. Because, really, how do you move past playing the guy who camps on his Warsaw mansion balcony and shoots random Jews in his yard for sport? I'll tell you how, he plays Lord Voldemort. And in one moment in the final movie, he shoots a killing curse at a Death Eater when he's just pissed.

But there's so much more to what Harry Potter means to me than just it's exciting my pop culture sensibilities. As Harry prepared to go to the Forbidden Forest and sacrifice himself, Hermione hugged him and Ron smiled. I thought of Katherine and Jen, and Jenna, and Katie and every other friend I've ever had who knew what was better for me than I did. When Harry spoke to the ghosts of his parents, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, I thought of the adults who guided my way in subtle and unsubtle ways. Of my parents, and teachers, of David, the boss who took a chance on me when no one else would have.

I don't know how to separate criticism of Harry Potter from my own experience. I love this story too much. It's too much a part of me, or at least how I see stories. So it's over now. I'm ready for it to be over, but it keeps going because it's in me, it's in millions of people. So maybe that's all there is to say.

The Girl On Fire, The Son of Poseidon, The Boy Who Lived and Others

I literally, a minute ago, put down Mocking Jay, the third and final book in The Hunger Games series. I've been completely blown away by the series, it was beautiful, terrifying and addictive. The story of The Hunger Games is that post apolcalyptic North America is separated into 12 districts and led by an autocratic capital, and the nation is called Panem. It's an ancient Roman model, with the Capitol overflowing with riches and the districts, like Roman provinces serving the Capitol in some way. Once a year "tributes" are chosen, two from each district and they enter an arena and fight to death in The Hunger Games, for Panem's entertainment. Katniss Everdeen, the heroine of The Hunger Games, goes off to the games in place of her younger sister Primrose, and inadvertently ignites a rebellion against the Capitol. Along the way she earns the love of her fellow tribute Peeta, which competes with the affection of her long time friend, Gale. There's so much more to it, but I absolutely could not do it justice. Read the books, they are completely worth it.

But allow me to put my reading of The Hunger Games into context. Many people are aware of the pop culture syndrome known as Post Potter depression. That is, people who find their summer's detached and meaningless without a new Harry Potter book to consume. I have proudly staved off this particular disorder, but only barely, and I've done it in a very specific calculated way. Rather than sink under the unbearable thought of losing Harry and friends, I've found myself other series to occupy my mind in the meantime.

The first one was Twilight. While Bella Swann and her hot monster love has about as little to do with The Boy Who Lived as possible, it did the job pretty credibly. I was consumed in who Bella would choose in the end (really? Do I need to get into my opinion on that one again?) almost as much as I wanted to find out if Snape was good or evil. I read all four books in one summer, I certainly didn't feel an empty longing to return to Hogwarts. Even if the finale was a bit of a disappointment, and not just because Bella was stupid and chose wrong, I appreciated what the books had to offer.

After Twilight, came Percy Jackson and The Olympians. Here I found what I really needed, a sometimes bumbling, homicidally brave, young male hero who had to save the world whether he wanted to or not. Plus he went on adventures, had a spunky smarter than him girl sidekick, and a hapless boy sidekick. He had rivals who turned out to be important allies, and parentage that isolated him from the rest of his friends. I actually had to wait a little bit for these ones, because the final book, The Last Olympian didn't come out until after I'd finished the previous four. AND there's a sequel series, The Heroes of Olympus which is keeping me in enough anticipatory excitement to fill a Hagrid sized void.

Post Percy was stranger. Nothing was showing itself to fill the void. Nothing to keep me from missing my favorite young witches and wizards. I tried James Patterson's Maximum Ride series, not for me. Even Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse Mysteries, which were the basis of True Blood, which I adored didn't do it. But, what? What could possibly fill that hole, besides the endless indecisive whining of the world's most innocuous teenage girl beloved for unknown reasons by two hot immortals, or the epic adventures of teen age demi gods in New York city? Then it came, like a brief flash of glory...

WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1...2...3...4!

Yes, his name was Scott Pilgrim. He was 23, he was dating a high schooler, he met the girl, literally, of his dreams, and had to defeat her 7 evil exes to win her love. Scott, Ramona Flowers, Knives Chau, Kim Pine et al, amused me sufficiently enough. And then this summer approached, and I made the decision, based on all the speculation about the film version, it was going to be The Hunger Games.

Anyway, being the freakish pop culture junky that I am, I imagined a little scene, in which Harry Potter, Bella Swann, Percy Jackson, Scott Pilgrim and Katniss Everdeen all sat down in some kind of hero support group:


Harry: Hello, you all know each other, but let's introduce ourselves anyway. My name is Harry Potter, and my parents were murdered by the most evil wizard of all time. I survived and became a celebrity, but I was raised away from that by my abusive relatives. Once I got to wizard school though, everyone thought I was awesome, and then lots of people died because of me. Next?

Bella: My name is Bella, and I fell in love with this mega hot guy at first sight, and it turned out he was a vampire and he loved me too, except, I don't know why because he is the greatest human to ever live and I am scum. Anyway, then he left me, because why wouldn't he, I'm awful? So, I started hanging out with this other guy, who fell in love with me, and I kinda liked him too, and it turned out that he was a werewolf, and then my boyfriend came back and I was all "See ya!" and I started a war and they both almost died and then I had the vampire's half vampire baby, and I became a vampire and then the werewolf fell in love with my baby, and we all lived happily ever after. Except for that whole, you know, vampire thing.

Percy: My name is Percy, my mom boinked the god of the sea, even though he wasn't supposed to do that anymore, so I was born and monsters were always trying to kill me, and then my mom got kidnapped by Hades and my Latin teacher turned out to be a centaur, and this guy who I thought was nice turned out to be manipulated by the Titan Kronos, and I had to lead a war against the Titans, and meanwhile, my best friend, who's mom Athena hates my dad was all in love with me, and I loved her too, except there was this other girl. That's not important, anyway, we won, but I still have to fight monsters a lot, and it sucks.

Scott: Hi, my name is Scott Pilgrim, and I'm awesome. I used to be in a band, and...I guess, I don't know, my girlfriend has seven evil exes, but it didn't start that way...I was dating this seventeen year old Chinese Girl, because my ex girlfriend became a rock star...but look, I got to use a SWORD, a ninja sword. And there was something about subspace...can we eat now?

Katniss: Um, I'm new, my name is Katniss. I grew up in a district of a totalitarian controlled super city, hunting in the woods with my best friend and singing bird songs with my father. Then my father died, and I had to take care of my little sister. Then she got selected to go to this tournament to the death and I volunteered to take her place, and it turns out the guy who they sent with me has always been secretly in love with me, which it turns out I love him too, except I also love my best friend and I really didn't have time to deal with those issues, because I was too busy trying to stay alive and stuff, and then they started calling me The Girl On Fire or The Mockingjay and I had to lead a rebellion when all I wanted to do was hunt and protect my sister and maybe figure out which guy I liked. And lots of people died and it was ALL MY FAULT.

Harry: I so get that. It's hard when lots of people die because of you. Also when they give you stupid names, like, "The Chosen One" or "The Boy Who Lived."

Bella: Who did you pick? That's the most important part!

Percy: Trying to stay alive when everyone wants to kill you is probably the worst thing ever!

Scott: What? I uh, fell asleep. Does my hair look OK?

And that friends, is how you beat Post Potter depression...

Best of A Decade: 2005

In Good Company

This is one of those highly underrated movies that people tend to forget about. Topher Grace stars as a synergizing business wunderkind who gets moved into a sports magazine ad department, previously dominated by Dennis Quaid. What follows is a story about life, business, family and friendship. Grace's Carter becomes infatuated with Quaid's daughter, played with cutey sex appeal by Scarlett Johansson, and eventually learns the value of hard work and ethics. Plus any movie that uses Peter Gabriel's "Salsbury Hill" deserves notation.

Sin City

"You go down the right alley in Sin City, and you can find anything." Robert Rodriguez is BRILLIANT! Seriously people? It's called Desperado. Also Planet Terror. Anyway, Sin City is the beginning of Rodriguez's partnership with comic God Frank Miller, on Miller's iconic stories of Basin City and it's underground. The second film is in the works, but his one focuses on stories, "The Hard Goodbye," "That Yellow Bastard," "The Big Fat Kill," and "The Customer is Always Right." The style, all green screen was later adopted for other comic adaptations. But Sin City was the first, and by far the best.

Fever Pitch

Apparently this movie is supposed to be a fluffy romantic comedy. I think it's a tragedy. I remember watching the second half of it with my hands over my eyes. Also this only furthered my brother and my theory that the 2004 Baseball post season was a large media conspiracy intent on destroying everything Yankee fans held dear.

Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of The Sith

On multiple viewings, not a favorite. But I walked out of the theater and said "WOW! Thank God!" The first twenty minutes are a return to the joy of the original Star Wars trilogy. Actually the first two hours are really good. It's the last half hour (minus the kick ass duel fights between Sidious/Yoda and Obi-Wan/Anikan) that kill it. Plus, Jimmy Smits? Really?

Batman Begins

"Why do we fall?" "It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me." "I don't need to kill you, but I don't need to save you either." I could just keep quoting it, but I won't. It's just awesome. Nolan's vision of Batman is so clear it's hard to talk about much else. The movie isn't perfect. (The Scarecrow? Really? That's your villain choice) But the flaws are minimal. As great as The Dark Knight was, I prefer Begins. I love origin stories.

Sky High

I don't care that it's one of the lamer Disney tween movies of the decade. It has a character in it named "Warren Peace!" Get it? That's comedy man. Also a punk girl who can shapeshift into a Guinea Pig. And Michael Angorano is one of those underrated young actors who people never think of, but when they see him always love. (I adore his work on Will and Grace as Jack's son Elliott.)

The 40 Year Old Virgin

Judd Apatow. I think the man is one of the best writers out there. I'm serious. Watch the movies that he wrote, not just produced and be awed by what he does. The absurdity of his vulgar sex comedies are offset by such incredible heart and reality that you can't help but root for his out there protagonists.

Wedding Crashers

Hello world, meet Isla Fisher.

Walk The Line

You'll notice that Reese Witherspoon is on this list a lot. She's one of my favorite actresses. But Walk The Line gets its note because of, well everything. It was released in a time when music bio-pics were flooding (Ray is the other really good one) but it stands out because of it's heart and the greatness of the music. Oh, right and Joaquin Phoenix and Reese did their own singing, so you know, cute.

Corpse Bride

Yay Tim Burton doing it right! I miss when Tim Burton got it right. Don't you?

Serenity

Joss Whedon, Nathan Fillion. Big Screen time and budget. Oh and um, this:

Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire

Back before Edward Cullen and his whole not showering thing, I had a major crush on Robert Pattinson because of his performance as Cedric Diggory. By far the most faithful adaptation of the six movies so far, it's not the best, but it's my favorite book. Shut up! I like exploring the "world" of a fantasy universe. And this one does that more than any of the others. Plus VIKTOR KRUM!!!!!

Pride & Prejudice

Although not the definitive adaptation of Jane Austen's most famous novel, it is the one you can stand to watch more than once a year without tons of chardonnay to aid in the six hours of exact translation. Not that this is something I've done. Ever. *cough* But I do love Ang Lee's interpretation. Kiera Knightley and Matthew Mcfayden's Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are adorable and awkward as their romance blossoms.

Rent

Yes, I went the day it opened, and I wore a jean mini skirt, pink fishnets and black leather boots. Yes, I quacked at the screen when Aaron Lohr started singing "Will I?" (If you don't get it leave!) And yes, I cried, a lot. It's not a perfect movie, but before they released the final performance on DVD, it was all we had OK?

Coming in 2006: Tristan and Isolde, Clerks II, Dreamgirls, The Departed and more.

Howl at the Moon

So here's the big one for the week! Werewolves haven't ever gotten the glamorous treatment that vampires have in pop culture. They are distinctly less sexy. But they're often times a whole lot more fun. Face it, while vampires have cornered the market on brooding and sexy and all of that, werewolves are more savage, they are literally the animal within. So let's explore that shall we?

Scott Howard: Teen Wolf/Todd Howard: Teen Wolf Too

Played by Michael J. Fox and Jason Bateman respectively, these wolves, like many get their wolfiness from a genetic quirk. While Fox got the better movie, both take into account the hilarity that can come from a teenage boy sprouting lots of body hair, and like a couple of the witches here, it's all just a metaphor for puberty. Plus watching Michael J Fox Dunk is effing hilarious.

Tommy Dawkins: Big Wolf On Campus

Just like Fox and Bateman Tommy found wolfdom more fun than anything. Plus he used it to become a super hero. Or maybe not. I really don't remember details about this show. But I thought it was awesome when I was ten. I do remember one time he time traveled and then ended up back in our time, but because he interfered with something in the 80s The Communists took over. So, he interfered with the past and changed the future, also like Michael J. Fox. Oh, also, Rachel LaFevre was on season 1, and now she plays Victoria in Twilight. So there's that.

Remus Lupin: Harry Potter

Lupin was my favorite character. He was awesome. He was by far the best defense against the dark arts teacher. Probably because you know, he was his subject. I'm still not over the fact that he died. Not at all. Seriosuly. The first time I read Deathly Hallows I cried for like a half an hour. Not joking. Anyway, one of the only traditional werewolves in recent memory, Lupin changes at the full moon, and only at the full moon, also if he doesn't drink his potion he goes crazy and tries to eat Hermione.

Daniel "Oz" Osbourne: Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Oz became a werewolf when his little cousin bit his finger. To keep himself and the other Scooby gang members safe he locked himself in the rare book cage in the Sunnydale High library. He started out as a traditional werewolf, but after time focused the powers and could become a wolf at any time. Plus he was in a band.

And finally, you knew it was coming:

Jacob Black: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn

A result of the strange genetic quirk in the Quilieute people, brought about to protect the tribe from vampires, Jacob is a shapeshifting werewolf with lots of angst to go along with it. Granted the angst is less about his wolf state and more about how Bella doesn't love him, but still. Jacob eventually leaves the Quilieute pack behind in Breaking Dawn, because he disagrees with leader Sam Uley's decision that the pack will kill Bella and her unborn half vampire baby, who as it turns out is Jacob's soul mate. (I don't really care for Breaking Dawn. I think it's kind of a stretch) After imprinting on Rennesme, the Cullens accept him as one of their own. (Except Rosalie, because you know, bitch!) and he even forms his own little mini pack with Seth and Leah Clearwater. So that's pretty cool.

Through the Wardrobe, Looking Glass, In The East

As part two of my exploration into the world of the supernatural comes in alternate worlds. To be specific, I'm not talking about alternate universes here. That's Sci-Fi, and they need their own series of in depth posts. Hell, just the ones in the DC comics universe alone would need like three! These are mystical worlds that work and operate next to or instead of ours. Usually there's magic involved.

Narnia: The Chronicles of Narnia

The granddaddy of all of magical worlds is C.S. Lewis's world through the wardrobe. Narnia is a place where animals talk and children rule (literally, the greatest rulers of the realm are the Pevensie kids, Peter, the oldest is twelve.) Take with it a healthy dose of Biblical allegory, and you've got a recipe for the kind of place that every kid wants to be and that's good for them. It's like apple juice. Little kids love the stuff, and it gives them nutrients. Plus in Narnia, Jesus is a lion and Moses is a horse! Which is so much cooler than a carpenter and a dude with a beard. And the seven deadly sins are represented by seven islands. (Dawn Treader is my favorite book in the series.) I can't write fully on most of the theology, since when I read the books I went to a public school where Jesus was a four letter word, not because you're taking the Lord's name in vain but because you might offend one of the four non Christian students in your class, and we didn't go into those elements of them, but Jen, I'm counting on you here to fill in the blanks!

Middle Earth: The Hobbit, The Lord of The Rings

Meant more to be a stand in as a magical version of our Middle Ages, making it more of an alternate world than a magical realm, it nonetheless makes the list. JRR Tolkien's world is rich with history and it's own cultures. Magic here is a lot like Narnian magic, it's not a thing possessed by some, it's a force of it's own, that certain people (elves, wizards, to a degree dwarves) can harness. Plus dragons. There are dragons, or one dragon.

The Wizarding World: Harry Potter

What's interesting about JK Rowling's alternate world is that unlike others it exists in the same space as ours and we just can't see it, or as characters often say, "Muggles don't look properly." It's a brilliant way to ground Harry Potter in reality. And luckily for us, Universal Studios is providing us the chance to go to these places. No really. See?

Wonderland: Through The Looking Glass, Alice in Wonderland

Lewis Carroll's creation of Wonderland wins for trippiest alternate world. Although the original book wasn't the result of an acid trip, although I think there was Opium involved, most of the subsequent adaptations were made with hallucinogens. Wonderland, like Narnia is meant to teach lessons, mostly about being yourself, but not disobeying authority, except when the authority is stupid. Or something. You know what? Just look at the pretty flowers.

Avalon: Every adaptation of Camelot ever, except Jerry Bruckheimer's King Arthur, which sucks really badly anyway, so who cares?

Avalon, like The Wizarding World, is unique in that it exists physically in our world, and it's shrouded in mystery. In some versions, Avalon is merely an island, in others it is a place beyond our world where The Once and Future King, Arthur, goes to wait until it is time for him to return. (Confused? Yeah, there are academics who dedicate their whole careers to trying to figure out this mess.) It's certainly the residence of The Lady of The Lake. Who's magic. We think. Unless you follow Meg Cabot's interpretation. Then she's a teenage track star who likes to hang out in her pool and has a thing for quarter backs.

So there you have it. I realized after I wrote the entry that all of my examples are literary, but I think it's because these places are easier to create in books than on film. Even the film adaptations of these books have trouble translating them. Metaphor doesn't always work visually.

It's Witchcraft

With New Moon finally opening on Friday (has it really only been a year since Twilight? How are Ironman fanatics dealing with having to wait three years for their sequel?) I have a laser focus. I'm in a twisted joy and fear based swirl of excitement around the supernatural.

So I've decided to write about it. I could write about vampires, (I've been working on a "favorites" list) but New Moon isn't about vampires, I mean, they're there, but it's really about the other.

Today, I'm talking witches. Not real witches, the kind that pop culture has taken and elevated to super status. Here they are, my favorite magic makers here.

The Halliwell Sisters: Charmed

I loved Charmed. I watched season 1 again recently and realized it really doesn't exactly hold up. But for pure The WB late 90s early millenium nostalgia, it's the best. Plus Alyssa Milano is amazing. I personally think the show suffered when Shannen Doherty left and was replaced by Rose McGowan as a formerly unknown fourth sister (not because I prefer Doherty to McGowan, let me make that clear, McGowan is way better! I didn't like the way Piper functioned as oldest sister) The Charmed ones were great and the epic scope of their mission is always good.

Willow Rosenberg: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel

Willow started experimenting with Wicca at the end of season 2, in an attempt to restore Angel's soul. She later developed incredible powers which consumed her by season 6. Willow's magical solutions to Buffy and the rest of the gang's problems proved helpful, even if Giles consistently disapproved.

Samantha Stevens, Endora, Tabitha Stevens: Bewitched

Without Sam, as a pretty good witch on this quasi misogynistic classic there would be none of the others on this list. Samantha's mother Endora was constantly making trouble for poor Sam and her much put upon magic-phobic husband Darrin. Then came adorable daughter Tabitha, who manifested her magic powers early, and also made plenty of trouble.

Sabrina Spellman: Sabrina The Teenage Witch

A direct descendant of Samantha's, Sabrina's magic was much more about hijinks and hilarity than anything else. Plus it was a metaphor for puberty, so that was cool. Sabrina's magic caused her no end of problems, she had to lie to her friends about it, and even when she came clean to high school sweetie Harvey about it, it took him five more years to come around. But didn't we all wish when we were tweens that we could point our fingers and summon up a dance lesson with Britney Spears, and then watching reruns now, wish we could point and get the couture that Sabrina does.

Jean "Jinx" Honeychurch: Jinx

In Meg Cabot's less successful novel, Jean is a powerful prophesied witch who has to escape to New York City relatives when she turns the most popular boy in her small Iowa town into a crazy stalker with a love spell. When Jean's cousin Tory starts thinking that she's the one who's the witch, it spells difficulty, when they have their sights set on the same boy, who really only likes Jean. In the end it's Jean's commitment to not misusing magic that saves her. Personally I'd have rather seen Cabot turn this into a series rather than the too big for it's britches Airhead Science Fiction story.

The Wicked Witch of The West, Elphaba: The Wizard of Oz, Wicked

She struck fear into the hearts of children everywhere for generations, then she was the center of a heady confusing novel, and then she touched the hearts of freaky girls everywhere in her own musical. The shrieks of Margaret Hamilton's green witch are terrifying, right out of play pretends about the mean old neighbor. I've only read Maguire's novel once, but I didn't really get it. Then came Idina Menzel taking on the icon in Wicked. If your heart doesn't break as she sings "I'm Not That Girl" you need to get a new. Thankfully, we're in Oz, which means we could probably find you one.

Hermione Granger: The Harry Potter series

The talent behind the men. Hermione was the one who found the ways for Harry's plans and hijinks to make them legendary. If it weren't for the her and her bizarre ability to memorize thick volumes, (Hogwarts: A History) they never would have found the Sorceror's stone and Voldemort would have come back full force four years before Harry was ready and smacked his ass. Of course then Cedric Diggory might have been spared, but I digress. Hermione's book smarts are absolutely the driving force behind Harry and the success of his adventures.

So those are my witches. Coming before the end of the week, alternate worlds, mythological creatures and of course, werewolves!

Summer Reading: The Tales of Beedle The Bard

JK Rowling's companion to Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows the short and sweet The Tales of Beedle The Bard came out almost a year ago, I bought it six months ago and I've just gotten around to reading it today.

Beedle is a necessary read for even the most casual of Harry Potter fans. Rowling enfuses these Brother's Grimm style fairy tales with her wit and somewhat twisted sense of humor. Each tale is followed by a "commentary" by the ever wise, somewhat omneiscient Albus Dumbledore. One extremely pro Muggle story is commented on partially with an excerpt from a letter to Dumbledore by Luscious Malfoy that is apparently the basis of the rampant antagonism between the two wizards in the original series. The final sentence of this commentary is, "This exchange marked the beginning of Mr. Malfoy's long campaign to have me removed from my post as headmaster of Hogwarts, and of mine to have him removed from his position as Lord Voldemort's Favorite Death Eater." I giggled for a while

The real piece de resitance is the final tale, "The Tale of Three Brothers." All of the stories contribute a great deal to understand the world of Harry Potter but obviously "The Tale of Three Brothers" contributes to the plot. Obviously, Voldemort's quest for the unbeatable wand and the origins of Harry's invisibility cloak are both rooted in this tale. I really enjoyed the little collection. A must read for any Potter Fan.

Summer Movie Preview Part I: Sci-Fi Fantasy Edition

It's coming! It's almost movie season...yes, I refer to that blockbuster blitz period between memorial day and labor day as movie season...its like following a sport after all. Anyway, here's my summer movie preview...

Part I: Sci-Fi Fantasy Edition
Since the dawning of the new millenium we geeks have been brought out into the mainstream. God bless the comic book movie and the various publishing phenomenons that did it. As a result every summer the multiplexes are flooded with Sci-Fi/Fantasy offerings, and we eat it up.

X-Men: Origins: Wolverine

Now, let's prepare ourselves now, awesome Sci Fi/Action trilogy that peaked in its second part, and now a prequel, with two colons in it...let's remember what happened last time we got hyped up about this. It was called Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace. I happen to like that movie, but for some reason most people disagree with me, anyway, I really want to see Wolverine. If only because we finally get to see Gambit. Personally, I want to see how this whole Origins franchise pans out too. We know they're working on Magneto, but I'd really like to see Storm. But I can't wait to see Logan's story unwind. Apparently they take Wolverine back to his gritty roots. I'm not sure what that means, since as I remember it, Wolverine's roots involve yellow spandex, but I think it's an admirable goal.

Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince
Remember those publishing phenomenons I was talking about? This is one of them. I was among the less outraged when they bumped this movie's release from Christmas to summer, mostly because it then allowed for Twilight to be bumped from January to Christmas (Why they thought that they couldn't release them one after another I still don't know...but Hollywood execs are still baffled by the minds of teenage girls. Let me let you in on a little secret, you want to appeal to them, you give them cute boys, and lots of different ways for those cute boys to get together with average girls, so they can write fanfiction about it.) Anyway, the movie looks fantastic, and I really really can't wait to see the way it all is shown, especially *SPOILER ALERT*


Dumbledore's Murder.

*END SPOILERS*

Star Trek
I'm not a Trekkie, until I was in college I'd never even seen an episode of Star Trek. But quite a few of my friends are big fans and we have plans to see the movie, since we'll be at school. I've now seen maybe ten Star Trek episodes and I think I get the jist. Also, JJ Abrams directed it and he's admittedly not a Trekkie so that makes it much less intimidating, and I'm still hoping that maybe he'll give us a clue to what the numbers mean. And I really can't wait to see what Zachary Quinto does with Spock. I mean, will it just be Sylar with Spock ears? (Which I have been told by my Trekkie roommate would be a total travesty, me, I think it would be funny!) Oh, right and Simon Pegg is Scottie, and Harold from Harold and Kumar is Sulu...I still sort of wish it was Masi Oka...haha, get it? That would be worth the price of admission.

Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen
I'm not sure what the plot is. Not that it matters. The point is that they're robots in disguise, and I don't hate Michael Bay as much as most people in the blogosphere. I kind of like Michael Bay's movies. Pearl Harbor especially. So, yeah, it's going to be good. Or at least fun. Also Shia, I love Shia sooo much.

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra
See: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Substitute: for Shia...Joseph Gordon Levitt.