Friday, November 21, 2008

It's TWILIGHT DAY!

Today is going to be entirely dedicated to Twilight! YAY!

I haven't seen the movie yet, I'm going this afternoon, I'll have a full review tomorrow, or later today, but right now, I'm going to do a Versus situation, I like doing these, they're fun, and this is a particularly fun one.

Many people know that I was falsely lured into the world of Twilight by friends who assured me that Bella and Edward's romance resembled Buffy and Angel's. Guess what? It doesn't. This lead to the inevitable fangirl/boy question...if Buffy's Scooby Doo gang went against the Cullens and co, who would win?

First some rules: We are discussing before Bella's transformation into a vampire, after the alliance with the wolves, in Twilight time, after Buffy comes back from the dead more powerful, after Faith joins the group and Willow discovers her powers for the Buffy gang? Are we clear? Good.

So let's start with the obvious:

Buffy would first take Bella out, because well, Bella wants to be a vampire and Buffy knows that this is bad. She wouldn't kill her because Buffy doesn't kill people but she'd knock her out and maybe some sense into her. For her trouble, Buffy would then have to take on Jacob and Edward, you know because they love her. Luckily Edward will be otherwise engaged, I'll get to that in a minute. And she's Buffy, she can handle Jacob (I love him, but I mean, she's Buffy!)

Edward and Angel will be having a brood off. They're going to sit and stare into space, contemplating the danger they've put the women they love in. Edward will read Angel's mind and discover that he too mourns over the fact that he has no immortal soul and he has to walk the world forever denying his nature. Then they will bond. And they can brood and brood and be incredibly sexy. It'll be good.

Back to Buffy and Jacob. Yes, he'd be in wolf form and he'd have Seth and Quil and Embry and Leah and all the others backing him up, but Buffy's fought werewolves, and she'd take care of it. I trust in Buffy, she'd beat them.

Faith gets Alice, let's face it, with the whole psychic thing, there needs to be a Slayer on her. Plus she's got Jasper backing her up, so again, there is need for a slayer. I put Faith on them instead of Buffy because, as the Dark Slayer she's more brutal. Unfortunately, I don't think she could beat them, Faith falls.

Cordelia and Rosalie. Cordelia is useless, but she's pretty. Rosalie refuses to kill people and oh right, she and Cordelia are exactly the same, you know, pretty, shallow, largely useless in a fight but really fun for the plot. So yeah, just give them each a mirror, it'll be fun.

Willow vs. Esme? Maybe...I don't know. Willow's such a powerful witch I almost think she could take them all out at once. Or at least debilitate them.

Carlisle and Giles will sit up in Carlisle's library and talk about old books while everyone else fights. Giles will be fascinated by the Volturi. You know he will!

Oh right...

Then Lestat and Louis swoop in and kill everybody. YAY!

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